A Theology of Benign Resistance with Stephen Backhouse / Transcript

Note: Can I Say This at Church is produced for audio listening. If able, I strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which has inflection, emotion, sarcasm where applicable, and emphasis for points that may not come across well in written word. This transcript is generated using a combination of my ears and software, and may contain errors. Please check the episode for clarity before quoting in print.

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Seth Price 0:31

There's a quote that's going to come up in todays conversation. And it says

it is so ironic that the same kind of groups, if you're going to draw a Venn diagram, the same kind of groups that really want to make America Christian again, or Britain Christian again, are the same kind of groups that really don't like immigration; let's be honest. And yet, if you really wanted to make America Christian again you'd be letting in everyone from the global south who wanted to come. That is how you make America Christian again.

I'm Seth, this is the Can I Say This At Church podcast and that is a massive question. Right?! Making something Christian again. What does that even mean? How are we going to do that? Is that the point of Christianity to begin with? I'm not certain that it is. I'm not certain that that term even matters anymore. And I'm aware of how offensive that could be to many people including maybe you if you're listening. And so I want to ask you to stay with me. I brought back Dr. Stephen Backhouse, who would have been on the show a few months ago. It was one of the most popular episodes of the year. But we ended that briefly, because on that day, I had over committed myself and I had three interviews to record because I am insane. And I'm also not good at time management. And so Stephen came back (and) we discussed further about Christianity. We discussed what the heart of a Christian nation needs to be through a lens of Bonhoeffer and through a lens of the New Testament. We discuss what we're doing with the Bible, when we try to use it as an instruction manual to run any country, we discuss passive resistance, benign ambivalence, we covered so much ground. We even talked in brief about QANON and it is an honor to have him back on the show. And it's an honor to present this conversation to you.

Right before we go, I have a request. Do me a favor. I have some lofty goals for next year for the show, but I'm going to need your help, you could support the show on Patreon, you could rate and review the show because that's what you should have done three weeks ago when you thought about it. And you're like, you know what I can actually afford a cheap and McDonald's coffee once a month to support the show. But not everybody can do that. Some people can.

But just share the show on social media or refer it to a friend, because that is the way that things just grow. And so do me a favor, find your favorite episode from this past year or favorite two or three episodes and send them to a friend put them on social media tag me in it, I would love to know which episodes resonated with you, because that could honestly help inform next year. And with that, let's roll the tape with this conversation with Dr. Stephen Backhouse.

Seth Price 3:33

Dr. Backhouse. Welcome back to the show. I like to get that doctor out of the way you earned it. We'll use it and then I'm not going to use it again. So welcome back to the show. Thanks for being willing to come back on for part two. And I'll pause there, because we had a part one it was maybe a month ago. I don't know when people were listening because this is the internet. I actually forget the actual release date. But it was early in October. We talked about politics, Christian nationalism, President Trump, the church, a lot of things, and a lot of feedback from that show, which we discussed earlier. And if you haven't listened, you should probably hit stop and bro, go back and listen to that one. So that maybe there's a little better context for today. You don't have to though, you're a full grown adult listening to this. You can do whatever you want to do.

Stephen Backhouse 4:17

Can I hit stop? I can't remember everything I said.

Seth Price 4:18

Doesn't matter. If you want to cheat. There's a transcript of the episode, just go right to the website, you can read exactly what you said maybe Ctrl+F it and find a word that you want. And then that'll tell you what you said. Yeah, those transcripts, it is fun to watch the people that link back to them. Like there's JSTOR link to one of them; from what I understand like JSTOR is like I don't even know what it is exactly.

Stephen Backhouse 4:39

It is academic journals and things.

Seth Price 4:40

It's linked to one of the episodes and I was like, when I saw it in the things pop through. I'm like, What is that? Like I don't what that is.

Stephen Backhouse 4:49

Somebody m has used your podcast as their references in their journals and things.

Seth Price 4:51

Fantastic. I hope they loved it. I hope it was good. It's probably a reference of what not to do.

Stephen Backhouse 4:55

You are in there man! You’re a footnote in the academic halls; it’s brilliant!

Seth Price 4:57

I did it. I wish I could remember the episode.

Stephen Backhouse 5:03

Good job everybody! Good job Can I Say This at Church.

Seth Price 5:05

Mostly, good job to the guest, because I'm sure it wasn't something that I said. So, anyhow, welcome back. So we had talked about nationalism and politics in America and overarching(ly) just the nationalism that seems to plague the world. And you sent me a message saying “we really ended on a lot of down notes but there is hope”. So I’d like to start there, hope for what? That we’ll fix it? Hope that we’ll somehow as a church figure out how to better do this, like hope for what? For context, we're recording this the day after the last debate, which was more civil, but what do you mean, hope how?

Stephen Backhouse 5:42

So a lot of people do ask me for hope. I don't know if I can give quite the hope that people want. Now, I'm not equating myself at all to, you know, I have a, she's a British African priest, a friend of mine in here in the UK. And she's a black, English woman. And people always want her as the public face of black Christianity, you know, in the Church of England, to, “oh, can you just tell us something to be hopeful about! Like, look at the BLM movement, look at the injustice and look at the, all these problems, please, can you just give us some hope?” And she’s basically like, “no, it's bad”. It's like you just want me to very quickly slap a little bandaid on top of all this, right. And, so I'm not equating myself with her because I think she's doing more important work than I am. Her name is Sharon Milbank, by the way, very lovely. But anyway…

Seth Price 6:45

Sharon's got an email, here we go.

Stephen Backhouse 6:48

That’s right. And, anyway, the point is, like, I feel like that sometimes. When she said that, I was like, Oh, I feel kinda like that. Sometimes I get people who want a happy story. But for me, the hope is not that you're going to fix it. And the election is not going to fix it. And it didn't get broke(n) in 2016. It broke a long time ago. And, it's not going to get fixed. But the hope is that the truth will emerge. So I'm a big fan of Kierkegaard, Søren Kierkegaard, I can't even remember if I talked about Søren Kierkegaard.

Seth Price 7:30

We did, because I remember having to Google how to spell his last name, because autocorrect is not happy with it.

Stephen Backhouse 7:35

So my wife tells me, I'm very bad at plugging my own stuff. So I'm going to plug my own. I wrote a biography of him a while ago, is like a book meant to be read by normal people. And it has some sense of why his life might be relevant to modern life today right. So it's called Kierkegaard A Single Life I published a few years ago, but in the back of my mind was always how he offers some kind of hope to our Christendom today. So his big contribution was he said,

Christendom has done away with Christianity,

cultural Christianity, people who think their nations are inspired by God or that their nation was a Christian nation or that, you know, and he's thinking about Denmark in the 1850s. And the kind of thing he's describing is America in the 2020s, as well. So don't think oh, we're not a European, so it's not relevant. It actually is relevant.

And one of his things was, he was like, I'm trying to reintroduce Christianity into Christendom. Because this cultural Christianity has introduced you to the idea that your patriotism and your Christianity are the same thing. Or that your membership in a culture is the same as being a Christian. But when you're born into a Christian culture, you never become a Christian because you think you already are one. And that means there's a whole lot of people walking around who have never actually started to follow Jesus. And the main thing stopping them from following Jesus is because they think they already are. So for Søren Kierkegaard, he said, look, to be honest, I'm not even trying to make anyone become a Christian. All I want is honesty. I just want honesty. And he wrote, at the end of his life, if you don't want to read my biography of him go and get a collection of his books called The Attack Upon Christendom, which is a collection of his writings at the end of his life. And it's a series of some newspaper articles and editorials that he wrote, where he just said, look, I'm like the fireman who's racing through town at midnight, clanging the bell, telling everybody that the town is on fire. I don't have all the solutions to fixing the town being on fire. But my job right now is to just tell you, it's not okay. You're in big trouble. And that's part of the process. We I need that part as well, because right now the sleepy citizens of Christendom think that everything is good.

And he said, no, my job is to tell you that it's bad. In fact, he said, “I'm going to make you vomit”. He switched metaphors and said, “I'm like the doctor that has to give you a noxious chemical to make you vomit”. Because it feels bad to vomit. But it's because you've got poison in you and you need to get it out. And so what he said was the hope was just in looking at yourself, honestly. That's where the hope comes from. Once you realize how bad it is now we can start to do something.

Seth Price 10:36

Two things I want to stretch apart there. You said what you wrote, and I will agree that at the end of last episode, I'd asked you to plug the places that you want people to go and you're like, “well, don't read my stuff. Read some good stuff”. So your wife is correct. So she is accurate. (Laughter)

Yeah, but I will say humility is a very good quality to have. So I appreciate that. Because nobody likes the guy that’s just like just read my stuff. No, nobody wants to talk to that person.

Stephen Backhouse 11:01

Doesn’t your heart sink when you're in a Christian meeting it and the speaker always says you can buy my books at the back afterwards.

Seth Price 11:07

Yeah, I struggle with some of the things just a side tangent, like I lead worship at my church. And when I do well, and some days are better than others, like Sunday, I'm like, oh, that sounded good. And internally I’m like I did a good job today. And other people. Great job, great job. And I just stand there. Like, I don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you doesn't feel right. Because I feel like the expectation is I do a great job. Like you don't reward a fish for swimming. You know, like, I just go “Oh, thank you have a good Sunday”. And my wife like, “what are you doing? Say something.”

(But) I don't know what to say

Stephen Backhouse 11:40

My CDs are for sale at the back!

Seth Price 11:43

I just have to make them.

Um, what is a normal person? Because you said you wrote it for a normal person. So what do you mean normal, like a person that didn't grow up in the church person without a degree?

Stephen Backhouse 11:56

My ideal audience was the educated nonspecialists. So, at the end of the day, he was a philosopher and theologian, so, but if you are interested in you know, he invented the phrase leap of faith, for example. So if you know anybody that's ever taken a leap of faith, or know somebody who says that. Kirkegaard invented it, it was in Spider Man, you know, the multiverse. Kirkegaard invented that phrase. And if you think that it's important to walk the talk, practice what you preach, if you think that authenticity is a value, and that it's not just enough to be born into a culture, you actually have to own it for yourself, you know? Well, that jargon of authenticity-he gave us that-hat is Kirkegaard. We are Kirkegaardians, whether we know it or not. And he's worth paying attention to. And what's more is he was deeply, deeply Christ centered when he did it. He thought the Incarnation was the most important event in the history of events happening. And that reality, if it's going to be real, like if the Incarnation happened, then it is the most important event in the history of events happening. And so everything you do and say, and all your identity, and all your plans, have to somehow constantly be rotating and revolving around the incarnation otherwise, they're false.

So he was like, I can't prove it. I can't prove that the Incarnation happened. But if it did, then a lot of things in our life will look different or should look different. And so this isn't like an argument that's going to convince your Christopher Hitchens or Richard Dawkins or Sam Harris', like it's not an argument, it's more of an appeal to people who already claimed to be followers of the incarnation. It's just an appeal. It's like a moral, intellectual, appeal, if you think that the Incarnation is true well, then this is some of the implications of that. This is how reality looks.

So my kind of readers are those sort of readers. I'm not looking for philosophers and academics. The world doesn't need another academic biography of Kierkegaard. There's a few thick ones out there who will hold your door shut, or open, very well.

(Seth laughs out at this mental image)

And they will…they will be used, you know, they'll be used to…a wobbly table will be fixed by the Kirkegaard biographies that are out there. And those are good biographies, the world does need those. But I think that perhaps this really exciting, interesting, follower of Jesus who changed the way we imagined and the way we talk to ourselves about ourselves most educated people don't know anything about that life. They might have heard the name, but they don't know anything about him. And I just thought, I think his life is really interesting and he has all sorts of things.

Because of his stand against cultural Christianity, against patriotism essentially, because he thought that patriotism was a vice that was tempting you away from the way of Jesus. He was, of course, pilloried and attacked by his society. There was, not just because of patriotism, but because of his stand against common sense and common cultural morality he was attacked by the press. He had a two year campaign waged against him in the popular press. There were caricatures of him. Children used to run out on the street and make fun of him. We have records of his accounts, and he had to pay lots of money to hire a cab to drive him out of town so that he go for a walk, because he couldn't walk in town anymore, because people would make fun of him because he bothered to take a stand against common Christian morality.

Seth Price 15:52

I know so little about him.

Stephen Backhouse 15:54

And he's so interesting. And he had a really beautiful love life, he had a really beautiful love affair, where he broke it up on purpose, because he didn't want to draw his fiance into his life, which was always going to be an attack on culture. And he didn't want to curse her by bringing her in. And he had to engineer a way to break up with her so she wouldn't be devastated. And it’s just….this guy was not living in some little academic cloister he was living in a really interesting life. And there was a riot at his funeral.

Can you imagine today any philosopher who died and there would be a riot at his funeral?

Seth Price 16:33

I'm not sure today if the average populace knows of a philosopher alive period, unless they're currently in college. They are just unaware.

Stephen Backhouse 16:41

Right! And it was all because he was trying to be Jesus like in the way he thought about the world.

Seth Price 16:46

Those tomes that you were talking about the ones that are going to hold open your door. So they're large enough, then and I'm in a pun mood so that's this moment. So they could literally, they're big enough and strong enough to literally hit the nail on the head and do some damage. Yes?

Stephen Backhouse 17:00

Yeah, you could do some carpentry. (both laugh)

Seth Price 17:03

Alright, so you use the word good a few minutes ago, and you used it on your message as well, if there are good things that we should focus on. So what are you defining is good? And then what are some of those things so and maybe how do we focus on them?

Stephen Backhouse 17:16

Last time, we talked I just would say it's a bad state right now, where we have a lot of people who call themselves Jesus followers who are calling evil good and good evil. And it's been happening for a long time, and I don't think you can fix it. I don't think it's fixable. I don't want to say irredeemable. Because that's not a judgment for me to make. But I don't think it's fixable.

So what's good about it is that there are some people who are now really, clearly…well, I saw this quote the other day, I'm stealing it. It was somebody else's Twitter quote, and it was, you know, “we've reached the stage where calling yourself a follower of Jesus means giving up your cultural identity as a Christian”.

Seth Price 18:01

I saw that as well, somewhere? Yes, maybe you shared it.

Stephen Backhouse 18:05

Maybe I said it in the last time?

Seth Price 18:07

No, no, no. I saw it somewhere else. I forget where I saw it. It doesn't matter. Yeah, I remember seeing that as well. And I paused to stop on it.

Stephen Backhouse 18:12

It's very Kierkegaardian to say that and I think there's some hope in that. Because I think what passes for Christianity in the majority world, certainly in the American evangelical world, certainly in the sort of Canadian, cult Canadian, evangelicalism I grew up with what people are absolutely convinced as Christian and are doing so with very sincere, honest hearts is just so far away from anything that anybody in the New Testament would have recognized. That it's actually hard to imagine. And you sound like you're exaggerating when you say, let's make a list of the Top 10 things that American evangelicals value. And then you put it against, and sometimes it'll be the exact opposite, to what the New Testament Christians valued.

And so the dichotomy now is so stark I think. It's becoming easier to see. And so a lot of people, there's hope now that the way of Jesus is becoming much more clear. And the minority that follow The Way of Jesus, I think, have always been the minority. So you always hear these stories about, “Oh, we were a Christian nation, and we're not Christian anymore, and we've lost our way”. No nation that ever called itself Christians was ever Christian. Hmm. No, none of them were! None of them were. They all were some sort of Christianized morality and common sense and military expansionism wrapped up with religious language, but they none of them were ever following the way of Jesus. So you didn't fall from some heady height. You never were up there.

And that's true for every nation that calls itself Christian .Germany, the UK, the Roman Empire it's just true for all of them, right. So the fact that we Got a state where that lie of the Christian nation is just shown to be so shallow, so hollow, I don't find it totally bad that that's happened. I don't think America as a Christian nation is redeemable. I think once American followers of Jesus stop trying to make their nation Christian again now we're gonna start to see some good stuff happen. But followers of Jesus have always been a minority within any Christian nation.

It's not like the Christians have reduced im number, it's kind of the same number has always remained and this is where, Kierkegaard makes this point as well, about people always complain, “Oh, Christendom we've lost so many! So many people used to call themselves Christian, and now we don't anymore”. And it’s like, “Well, no, it's just people are becoming more honest, now that they know what Christianity is, and they don't want it now they're just being honest. Surely, it's better to be honest than to be a hypocrite”.

Seth Price 20:57

Hmm, yeah, I've used that arguement often.

Stephen Backhouse 21:00

There's the census that comes out all the time. And I'm sure the American situation is the same. I don't know the poll numbers. But here in the UK, we had these national census and in 2001, there were 72% of the population said it was Christian. And then, in 2011, it dropped to, you know, 60%, or something. And so all the Christians here, especially the kinds that you can imagine the real culture warrior ones, “Oh, my gosh we've lost 12% of the Christianity has declined by 12% of the population”. And I'm a guy who's done work on those numbers. And I know that that 72% in 2001 (that) those questions were deliberately linked to ethnic identity, and national identity. And the census takers were treating Christian, basically the way we would treat white, or white English speaker. And so a lot of those people who were checking the Christian box were actually checking it because they were being asked questions about their ethnic identity for example. And then they moved to a different section of the poll. And they also started to ask you more details. So instead of just checking the box, Christian, you now have to ask, Are you Roman Catholic, Protestant, are you Baptist, charismatic, Pentecostal, they made you think about it. And this time 60% of the population or whatever it was check the box. And it's not that we all of a sudden became 12% less Christian, we just became 12% more honest, which is surely a good thing.

Seth Price 22:32

I'm assuming the nones, so in America, the Pew research study in Barna as well, but Pew, usually, I think the nones are the fastest religious organization in America, fastest growing behind want to say Islam and Sikh. And then Christian, what's funny is, and Professor Soong-Chan Rah over at Northpark has done some work on this. If you look at immigration policies and immigration inflow, versus the poll data that shows the amount of people that call themselves Christians, they are literally a mirror image. So as immigrants are unable to come in and stay as they're stuck as elsewhere, like, basically, what it's saying is people from Latin American countries that are coming up, are bringing their faith with them. And they're basically skewing the whole polls. But when you turn them off, everyone else that's still being honest are being honest. But you stopped counting half the people because you said they couldn't come here anymore.

Stephen Backhouse 23:26

And so ironic that the same kind of groups, if you're going to draw a Venn diagram, the same kind of groups that really want to make America Christian again, or Britain, Christian again, also tend to be the same kind of groups that really don't like immigration. Let's be fair, let's be honest. And yet, if you really wanted to make America Christian again, you'd be letting in everyone from the global south who wanted to come. So that’s how you make Christian America Christian again.

Seth Price 23:50

Yeah, absolutely.

Stephen Backhouse 23:52

But what Americans mean by that is actually we want to make America white, Protestant again, or whatever that they're thinking. So then I would counter that even your Barna polls and even your nones, I would say, well, all that you're seeing, it always was none. It's just that people are now starting to have a name for the thing that they always were. Or even the people that didn't think that they were…they're not followers of the way of Jesus, they are people who look at their skin ago while I'm white, where I'm from Texas, so I guess I'm a Christian. Like they're associating their cultural identity with their Christianity and that has changed now, and that's good. It is honest.

Seth Price 24:37

Yeah in Australia or New Zealand, I forget where, Jedi actually made the list I forget which place.

Stephen Backhouse 24:45

(laughs) Yeah they made it here as well.

Seth Price 24:47

Yeah, but it's been a thing there now it's like a decade now and the numbers keep climbing.

Stephen Backhouse 24:52

Because it's a little bit like the way the Church of Satan operates in America. It's not that there's people actually think their Jedi’s or actually think they're Satan right there. It's a protest affiliation.

Seth Price 25:04

I like it regardless.

Stephen Backhouse 25:05

It's trying to show the lie to a lot of religiosity in our culture that why does this group get special interest? They're just using the logic of our own democracy to its proper effect basically.

Seth Price 25:16

I want to draw on your knowledge. And I want to give people some practical things to focus on good things that they can do to maybe follow the way of Jesus. So I don't know when this is going to release because honestly, I'm not that far planned out. Just not just being honest.

Stephen Backhouse 25:32

But we know whatever is gonna happen, right, like, we know that if Biden wins, then the Trumpian American Christians are gonna get even worse, right? And if Trump wins, then the Trumpian American Christians are gonna get drunk on their own Trumpiness.

Seth Price 25:44

So what does the average person listening do then on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, really, probably more than Sunday, like what should we do as Christians trying to follow the way to physically move the pole? Even if it makes us look like your regard? Or someone else? It's gonna get lambasted, like what do we do? What are some practical 2,3,4,28 whatever things? Well, not 28.

Stephen Backhouse 26:06

Two things came to mind. One is just once you strip Jesus, once he gets knocked out of Christian religiosity of this sort of churchianity culture, once he gets knocked out of that, by the way, he's not welcome in that culture anyway. The easiest way to get Christians mad at you is to stand up and just quote Jesus at them. Which is well known. You ask loads of people I know, famous pastors Brian Zahnd and Greg Boyd. Yeah, they will tell you the easiest way to get Christians bad is just simply to quote Jesus back at them.

Seth Price 26:40

In the sidebar. I Brian had a post yesterday. And I don't always like what he says. But he basically wrote a post and 97% of the post is I think, Psalm 124. And someone said, You sound a lot like a progressive Christian. And he's like, sure if Psalm 124 is a progressive Christian, absolutely. He's like, I don't think you're mad at me here. I don't I feel like but he wasn't quoting Jesus. But he's still quoting scripture. He's like, I don't know why you're upset at me. Like if that's how you want to read that. I guess that's on you bro.

Stephen Backhouse 27:07

I don't know. Lisa Koons, who is the she's African American lady who runs 24-7, the prayer network in America. And she quoted just Jesus saying, “I've come to loose the bonds of the oppressed, set the captives free”. And somebody wrote on her Facebook page, saying it was cultural Marxism. This is what I mean, it's like, we've got to the point where people who call themselves Christians do not recognize is the most famous thing that Jesus said about himself. And they would say, that's Cultural Marxism like, this is Christendom, this is what has happened. Christendom has given us a culture where there are people fully aware, literate, adults who think they are Christian and they do not know the most basic, important things about Jesus. And this is not a marginal thing. This is the majority culture and people don't want to be aware of that.

Statistics will tell us it's the majority culture. voting records tell us it's the majority culture. spending habits tell us it's the majority culture, the majority have? Do you know that it's really well known that you can measure somebody's approval for torture of prisoners based on whether they say they're evangelical Christian in America. And it's statistically well known that you can track the more you associate with evangelical Christianity, the more you will agree about torturing prisoners. So just try and imagine a single person in the entire New Testament offering a support for the torture of political prisoners.

Seth Price 28:50

Do you remember where the other sects of the faithful like versus evangelicalism?

Stephen Backhouse 28:55

No, not specifically. I read so much this stuff I've kind of I've lost, it's all amalgamated. Yeah, but it is probably a Christianity Today magazine or something. It was some or Barna. But anyway, it's just that this kind of stuff happens a lot. And it's I want people to know that it's not marginal. It's we're talking central, we're talking everyday normal Christians going to church think that being Christian, this is why Mike Pence could say that he could replace the name of Jesus with the with the Old Glory in his speech, and he could say that the American way is the way of Jesus. He said that in his speech, he can say it (and) nobody gets mad. He can sit down him and his speech writers can write it, they can plan where it's going to happen in the speech. They can get an applause break. And nobody bats an eye. And that's what we have to pay attention to is that nobody bats an eye. This is why we mean Christendom has done away with Christianity.

And so what I want to point out as a positive way to people is that Jesus is really good. He's actually really good! And that noticing the stark difference between the American way or the British way or the middle class way and the way of Jesus is actually just to highlight how good Jesus is. So anything that makes Jesus come into clarity, is good for me, because he's actually really good. So that's like a positive thing. So, you know, in your everyday life, what it sort of comes down to is not being a Shadrach, a Meshach, and an Abednego. How did they protest idolatry? They didn't do it by marching angrily against Nebuchadnezzar, or gathering their supporters, or agitating for religious freedom. They just simply didn't worship the idol. And everyone noticed, and they got arrested. But they just didn't do it like that their protest was just not to participate in the worship of the idol. And part of my work is, I'm just going to say this really, really, I'm pleading American Christians, if you call yourself a Christian, consider not being patriotic. Consider just weaning yourself off patriotism. Because when it really comes down to it, that is the idle at the end of the day.

Seth Price 31:33

What's step one there if it's like a five step plan? Like how do you even because I don't, as an American, if you told that to me, as if you told that to my brother, or some girlfriends? And and I would say this to my brother, so I'll call him out, because I know he'll love me, regardless. So if I told that to him, it wouldn't make sense. Like it would literally be me speaking Greek to him like it wouldn't make sense. So if I told him to be unpatriotic, what is how do you even begin that?

Stephen Backhouse 32:00

But this is where you start to notice the grip it has on our imaginations, then it's easier to imagine.

Seth Price 32:06

It's easier to imagine actually speaking Greek

Stephen Backhouse 32:08

Than it is to imagine that I might, my little heart might not go pitter patter when I see the flag flying. And the earliest Christian saw the kind of feelings you feel when you feel patriotic, they saw that as a temptation to be weaned off of. I don't know if I mentioned this in the last series, in the last episode, but here in the UK we’ve got these big double decker buses. Everybody knows London has double decker buses. And on the side of these buses, they sometimes plaster big adverts, you know, big advertising. And every once in a while, there's a sexy lady that's plastered on the side of a bus. And I'm a red blooded heterosexual male. And I like looking at sexy ladies. But I know that that is trying to attract my eyeballs and my attention. I know that it's trying to press some of the lizard parts of my brain. And so what I do is (recognize) that is a temptation, my wife wouldn't like me looking too long at that bus. I know, it's not good for me either. And for my relationships, and for my inner thoughts. So I'm going to notice when my attention is trying to be attracted and manipulated. And I'm going to try and wean myself off this primitive manipulation.

And I'm not even saying it's unnatural, it's natural, it's deeply natural red blooded heterosexuals to be attracted to women. So we're not saying do something unnatural. What we're saying is, maybe some of the best things in life mean, rising above your natural base instincts.

Seth Price 33:38

And this metaphor, your wife would be the way of Jesus the bus would be patriotism, correct?

Stephen Backhouse 33:43

Yeah. So I have had this before. Listen, also (I’m a) Canadian guy. You know, Canadians love their flag. They like what it stands for. And I used to feel really proud. And I would put a little Canadian button on my coat.

Seth Price 33:56

And that's just the maple leaf, right?

Stephen Backhouse 34:03

Yeah, Canadian maple, red stripe it is great. So my little heart would go pitter patter when I saw Canadian flag flying. And I started to notice that that's kind of similar to what happens when I see a lady on the side of a bus is something here that is trying to attract my attention. It's trying to fixate my attention. There's a narrative there's an identity that this is trying to instill in me or that it represents is that narrative is that identity or the actions that lead to the foundation of Canada or the things that it asks Canadians to do for for the good of their country. Are those things that the way of Jesus would endorse? And the answer is no!

Seth Price 35:06

Let me stay on that metaphor because I like working with metaphors and my work they would tell you often I tell I explained things through metaphor, so you're speaking my love language? So if I'm the church in the buses patriotism. And I'm trying to stay faithful to the bridegroom? Do I just not take the bus? In this scenario? Do I go out of my way? Do I create a new vehicle altogether? Should I try to change legislation to have the buses not be allowed to advertise? And all of those are stretching the metaphor way beyond I think where we're at the beginning. But hopefully you're, you know, kind of what I'm asked like, as the church Am I trying to change the system? Am I putting myself in a position that I am seen objecting, not worshiping, not bowing down to the idol? Or should I just altogether avert it and not be seen pray and secret, quote unquote?

Stephen Backhouse 35:56

Well, I think that you just will, eventually not, you will, it will be visible. The way that early Christians objected to things was not to form an objection to it. It was usually simply just to not participate and to get on with their life. And if the society around them got offended, then they got offended. But the Christians weren't trying to cause offence. So I wouldn't say like on the Fourth of July, go pick it your neighbor's hot dog picnic. You don't drown out the sound of the God Bless America with with worship music. It's more that…

Seth Price 36:39

Is that directed at Sean Feucht. I feel like it is.

Stephen Backhouse 36:43

Yeah, but it's more in your life. And in your way that you live. And in the things you teach your children, you just don't instill patriotism as a value. And you start to realize that being a good neighbor is not the same as being a good patriot. And that, in fact, people who call themselves Patriots are some of the worst neighbors, because they're some of the least likely to love their neighbor, their actual neighbor. And they're the most likely to identify only the people who look like them and sound like them as worthy of their love.

So, being a good citizen is possible without being a patriot, being a good neighbor is possible. Being quietly governed, all these things are possible. It just means you don't love the country that you're in, because you recognize it as a human institution that has limited value. And what it does is it releases you, just like the early Christians were, you look at the way the Apostle Paul treated his different allegiances. We're constantly being told, if you read the book of Acts, sometimes he tells everybody how much nefarious he is, sometimes he tells everybody how he's a Roman citizen, sometimes he says he's a citizen of Tarsus, he brings it out when it suits him, he can fit in with the crowd. But he holds all of these identities very lightly. And he very clearly doesn't put his whole identity in one particular group that he's affiliated with. And he'll even say, to the Greek I am a Greek to the Jew, I'm a Jew. Which is this sort of openhanded, clearly, (he) doesn't love his national identities. He recognizes them as part of his reality. He uses them as a useful tool, but he doesn't give them his love.

And I think that's something that I noticed in the people who I notice as followers of Jesus, they, it's not that they hate America they just refuse to give it all the attention that it wants. Because it's a god and it wants worship. And so one of the best things you can do with gods is you starve them of their worship. You just refuse to hate it or to love it. You just think loving and hating is not the correct…i's not the correct approach to this manmade institution. There is a benign difference really that you can have to these things.

Seth Price 39:01

Honestly, not to go back from I don't even know if it's in the episode, but I'll say, honestly, that sounds very similar to the advisement I've been given from one of our counselors of when your son has some issues, you just starve that of attention. That version of reality, needs to exist in a vacuum. And when it comes out of the vacuum, as a different thing, that one gets the attention, but this one gets nothing.

Stephen Backhouse 39:26

Jesus does this all the time. So he's his approach to a lot of these things. I can't remember if I mentioned about the taxes to Caesar as a classic one.

Seth Price 39:37

I don’t remember that either.

Stephen Backhouse 39:39

So that was a patriotic (tax) so when they said “should we pay these taxes to Caesar?”. The tax that Caesar was imposing on the Jews was a racial insult. It was one that was meant to be you Jews think you're so special, but you have to pay me for the right to worship in your own temple. So it wasn't a tax to keep the lights going and the streets clean, right, it was an insult.

Seth Price 39:55

No we have not discussed that. This is the first time I've heard that. Say that again.

Stephen Backhouse 40:00

Okay, so when they come to Jesus and say, should we pay Caesar’s tax? The tax was a tax that Caesar imposed on Jews as a way to rub their noses in the fact that they were an occupied race. So it wasn't a good civic duty to pay your taxes in order to keep the streets clean.

Seth Price 40:17

Did they do this in other religions where they had conquered? Because it wasn't just you know, that…

Stephen Backhouse 40:21

Well it was connected to the temple.

Seth Price 40:23

But was it that way everywhere as well, I wonder?

Stephen Backhouse 40:25

I don't know. I don't know. But I know that this one was connected to keeping the temple going. So the Caesars tax was being used to keep the temple going. Think of that. The Roman Gentiles are the ones who are keeping the Jewish Temple going. So the whole thing is just come is vibrating with ambiguity and corruption. Right? And so the Pharisees are anti Caesars tax. The Herodians, by the way, are pro Caesars tax because the Herodians built the temple. So Pharisees and Herodians hate Jesus so much that they joined together and they come to Jesus and say, “What do you think of this tax”? And they are essentially asking him to take a side on patriotism. Vecause paying this tax was the event that every year it was during Passover, they would collect the tax, it was always the beginning of a rebellion. It was always thing that called all the loyal sons of Judah have to come back to protect the homeland. It was a patriotic rallying cry.

So when they said Jesus, should we pay this tax? They aren’t asking him, are you a good citizen are good? Are you a good Roman patriot? They're asking him, are you a Jewish patriot? Should we participate in this racial insult? And Jesus says, Yes, basically. He says, well, whose images on this, oh, give it back to him. We've got bigger fish to fry, give Caesar what's his, we've got the image of God, which is in everybody to care about.

If you notice, he's not saying that Roman Empire is evil and corrupt and violent, which it was. He's not saying this tax is being used to pay for corrupt things, which it was. He was just saying, I'm not leading the kind of revolution that tries to redeem the land by kicking out the Gentiles and pay the tax, take the racial insult. We've got bigger things to worry about. And so he treats something within difference, which was literally the reason why everybody else was even in this land at all. Like their whole, their whole identity was formed in what they think about this tax. It was the refusal to pay that tax, by the way, which led to the Great Rebellion in AD 70, which was when the Romans finally had enough and they destroyed the temple and they kicked all the Jews out. It was over that tax.

Seth Price 42:47

I'm not felt this ignorant in awhile and I use ignorant intentionally. I like learning new things.

Stephen Backhouse 42:54

But this is part o…like Jesus is…every time Jesus was given a chance to prove his patriotic chops when he was give a chance to prove his loyalty and allegiance to his inherited ethnic tradition for example, he went the other way. He embraced the Samaritan or the foreigner. The story of the Good Samaritan is a story against patriotism. Because the Levite and the priest they were the ones who shared the man in the ditch all of his ethnic and linguistic and religious heritage. And they're the ones who proved themselves unable to be a good neighbor. And the Samaritan who's the foreigner, outsider, the hated outsider, he's the one who is the good neighbor, right? So everything Jesus is doing is always basically saying, your national allegiance and your ethnic heritage stuff is not guiding you correctly. It is not a good source for morality and goodness.

Seth Price 43:47

I did not know that tax thing at all. I find it slightly infuriating how every time I do one of these somebody will say something as if common knowledge and I'll be like, “I didn't know that”.

Stephen Backhouse 43:59

But it is not common knowledge! But it's not common knowledge, because Christians think that patriotism is a virtue. So we're all reading with power. So we all read those texts as if it's an instruction manual for how to run a country really well. Because that's what patriots do. I've heard that preached in churches as if it's a pro-patriotic text.

Seth Price 44:20

Yeah, pay your taxes.

Stephen Backhouse 44:24

Pay your taxes, be a good Patriot! And no, it's the opposite. And the reason we can read it that way is because we think that the point of the Christian life is to run a country. So of course, the New Testament will now give us good advice and a guide. But in fact, the New Testament gives very bad advice for how to run a country. You have to go to the Old Testament for that. Which is what historically you've seen. You've seen Christians not actually paying much attention to Jesus at all. And spending a lot of time with King David and King Solomon and Moses. And you just see it happening, like, their attention is fixated on how to run a country not on the Sermon on the Mount.

Seth Price 45:02

Yeah, slightly different question entirely different avenue but I'm curious because I've been looking at it the whole time. Why the West Coast Avengers that's not usually at the top of the list for the Avengers? Why West Coast Avengers?

Stephen Backhouse 45:15

This? I don't know what this…this was in 19…gosh, some nerd will tell me 1989…

Seth Price 45:24

Have you even read it because it's definitely important. You've got it framed there. Have you even read it?

Stephen Backhouse 45:28

I got it framed because I love the art. So this is a classic omage to the Fantastic Four. If you're a comic book nerd, you'll know that the Fantastic Four had a famous cover where the mole man's monster is coming out and the fantastic for swarming around. And so when they made this rather jokey offshoot of the Avengers, and they they think they sent them in LA or Portland or something there

Seth Price 45:48

There were a couple offshoots. I think there's one up like in Michigan as well.

Stephen Backhouse 45:51

There's a Great Lakes Avengers as well. Yeah, but yeah, they redid the cover so I framed it because I love the art.

Seth Price 45:57

I just was curious because I've been staring at it this whole time was like, why the West Coast Avengers? It has nothing to do with religion, but I just couldn't help myself.

Stephen Backhouse 46:08

Yeah, you see, look I like comic books. I like Captain America.

Seth Price 46:12

Oh, one of my one of my new favorite podcasts is called Marvel's. This show is not brought to you or advertised at all by Marvel's I just didn't really like it. It's based off of a comic book of Galactus coming to just devour New York.

Stephen Backhouse 46:27

I read that graphic novel and I loved it.

Seth Price 46:30

There's like a 20 part series called Marvel's and it's done by actors. And I'm currently on episode three, and it's about 20 minutes long. And so I listened to about two a day and I'm really enjoying it.

Stephen Backhouse 46:41

I think Kurt Busiek wrote that.

Seth Price 46:41

I have no idea. They say at the beginning in the pre roll credits, you know, based written on the…but I'm not listening to that, because I'm hitting fast forward and then rewind, because I always go too far forward.

Stephen Backhouse 46:53

Oh, I wonder. I gotta listen to that.

Seth Price 46:54

Well, it's really good. But um, I don't know how it follows the book. But fifty years from now, and I want your honest opinion, because this is the work you do. Is the church better with his addiction to power and how that then ties us to politics? 50-60 years from now honestly, do you feel like it's better or it's just going to continue to burn to the ground?

Stephen Backhouse 47:17

50 years is one generation, two generations?

Seth Price 47:21

50 years, I'll have grandkids, I doubt that those kids would have kids. Maybe if they got busy really early, but maybe so one generation away, or my kids generation, my kids…kids?

Stephen Backhouse 47:34

I suspect we're going to start seeing a much starker difference between nationalist Christians and non nationalist Christians, I think it's going to be a dividing line. Like the ones who realize nationalism and this patriotic jingoism and stuff is just not compatible.

Seth Price 47:54

Like a different religion altogether?

Stephen Backhouse 47:56

Yeah I think it is gonna be a really stark difference, because it's already stark. But I think things are separating now. I would say to be perfectly frank, think about the state of America right now. Right? Look at the way the politics works, and the evangelicals work, and the Catholics work. Now imagine looking at the way (that) America is right now and thinking, yeah, this is good. This is going the right direction.

Seth Price 48:19

That is preposterous.

Stephen Backhouse 48:20

Right. And now imagine that a person who says yeah, this is good. They're the ones going into leadership right now. They're the ones going in to be a leader of an evangelical church. They're the ones who are getting into politics. You're already seeing QANON Senators.

Seth Price 48:40

But the ones not becoming leaders and politicians are because they should be following a way that is of Jesus so they wouldn't be running right?

Stephen Backhouse 48:51

This isn't dying away anytime soon. Like, right now. For example, Trump and even like Jerry Falwell, Jr, some of these famous mouthpieces for evangelical politics, they don't really believe this stuff. Like they're pretty overtly or blatantly opportunistic. Trump especially, right, very opportunistic. He doesn't believe QANON. He doesn't believe evangelical charismatic. He doesn't believe that he's the righteous prophetic leader. He's just happy that people like him and so he goes with them, right.

But now imagine that there is a group of people who really do believe this stuff. They're the ones being activated right now. So it is going to get worse and I don't think it's disappearing. It's going to get a lot worse because the people who really believe this stuff they're doubling down already. And the culture, the angry, well resourced; I mean, angry, nationalist American Christians are the most resourced group of Christians history has ever known. They've got more money than anybody else. They've got more people than anybody else. They're having more babies than anyone else. They have more power than anyone else than history has ever known. They're like the most well resource special interest group (that) Christianity's ever had. So they're not disappearing, they're just going to get angrier and angrier. But the difference between what they think is valuable what they want is becoming so much starker now. I'm getting emails all the time from people who's, who said, I thought I was losing my faith and now I realize I'm just not an American evangelical anymore.

Seth Price 50:39

Yes, yes. Print that on a bumper sticker.

Stephen Backhouse 50:42

I'm not saying followers of Jesus are disappearing. And a lot of those people are saying “they can have the word Christian, I don't think I'm gonna win that fight”. I'm a bit like that. I don't think I'm gonna win the fight of the word Christian anymore. I think the word Christian, for a lot of people pretty much means Trump supporter now. All right, fine. That's sad. Too bad.

Seth Price 51:02

Take it, yeah.

Stephen Backhouse 51:04

But yeah, I just got to keep going. So I don't think followers of Jesus are going to disappear. But I think that the battle grounds or the rubble is going to clear after the dust lifts from the battleground we'll see much more clearly where people are. And I don't think followers of Jesus are going to be sitting in mega churches anymore-no.

Seth Price 51:21

Can I ask you about QANON? I don't know enough about it, even though…

Stephen Backhouse 51:26

(sarcastically)

I am QANON! I'd just like to reveal now.

Seth Price 51:29

He's Q! So I was asked twice this week what QANON on has to do with the church? And I was like, I don't know. Because the best that I knowledge, I thought it was like more of a political thing. And then I haven't read I've seen people share like CNN articles about QANON in the church. And to be honest, I don't want to go to any news website until the election is over. Because I just…

Stephen Backhouse 51:50

I know for your own mental health.

Seth Price 51:52

I don't…just the same reason that you you're having your things with social media, like, I just don't I just I just don't I'd rather do literally anything else. I'd rather…I'd rather cut the grass with scissors than do that.

Stephen Backhouse 52:01

Before we talk about QANON, Seth, this is part of the positive. So you said like, what positive can I do? I think just not being obsessed with the things that the world around you is obsessed with is part of your positive. Like that is a light, a city on a hill, just not being obsessed? Do you remember there was a while ago, there's this article going around about a man who said I'm going to be a crappy citizen.

Seth Price 52:27

No.

Stephen Backhouse 52:29

And he happened right at the beginning of the Trump in 2016. This guy just said, “You know what I'm gonna be a bad, he used the word crappy, I'm gonna be a crappy citizen”. I'm not gonna read the news all the time. I'm not going to stay up to date with the current events like, it's pretty obviously this whirlwind of bad news sounds…and he checked out. But he didn't check out in an apathetic way.

What he said was, I'm gonna focus on a local problem that I know is important and will have an impact on people around me. And he has dedicated his energy to clearing up a local Lake, which was providing drinking water for the town. And he put all his energy into that. So you tell me was that a positive or a negative? His benign indifference to everything that everybody else thought was important kept his sanity and contributed to his neighborhood.

Seth Price 53:27

It's only bad for the ad revenue. But I'm fine with that.

Stephen Backhouse 53:30

Exactly. And so this is partly what I say when you when you when you refuse to bow to the idol. When you refuse to just participate in the noisy whirlwind. You might not do anything, but just by refusing to participate, you immediately become a little oasis of calm. Which is good.

Seth Price 53:53

Yeah, I like that.

Stephen Backhouse 53:54

So QANON is the opposite of the oasis of calm.

Seth Price 53:57

Yeah. So I thought that was just political. I thought it was just pizza gate, which I heard about from some podcasts and a few other things that I remembered being when Hillary somebody showed up and some people got shot in a pizza…

Stephen Backhouse 54:11

Well QANON absorbed Pizzagate. The headline is it's a pro Trump conspiracy theory. So that's a headline.

Seth Price 54:17

But how does that connect to the church?

Stephen Backhouse 54:20

So the one of the things it's absorbed is that Hillary Clinton and Bill Gates and all these Hollywood liberal elites are Satanist who kill children and drink their blood. So the especially the charismatic Pentecostal wing of Christianity in America is totally primed for this. Because they hate Hillary Clinton. They love Trump, and they think Satanism is a real and active force in this world. And so they are primed for this.

They also have been primed for generations not to trust the media. Not to trust the official story coming from any reputable news source because it's liberal bias and it's against Christians and all this. So you're just perfectly primed for a conspiracy theory that presses all the buttons that Christians want pressed. I did notice it wasn't, I mean, because we had COVID hit before before America did. And so here I am in England, but I've got my eyes on America too, right because of my work and stuff.

So I'm sitting in England, and we're watching the Italians, and the Germans are sending up, you can read like their editorials in the newspapers and their Facebook stuff, and they're starting to talk about Coronavirus, and they're talking about what they do and how they do it. And then it comes to England and now, the English, we're sharing all our means, and we're talking about Coronavirus, and we're buying toilet paper and stuff. And then it finally lands in America. And it wasn't until it got to America…the conspiracy theory stuff wasn't happening. It was only when it got to America that all of a sudden Coronavirus has been invented by 5g. And it was invented by Hillary Clinton who's a Satanist. And they're gonna put microchips in your blood. Like it was Americans who made us go crazy on this.

And it was, I noticed, it was my it was American charismatic Christians who were the ones who were most sharing this stuff, they were primed for it, they were just ready to go. And the only people I knew who really lost their minds on that, and probably still are losing their minds are Christians. And certainly even in the UK the ones I know who are really into it, are themselves Pentecostal Christians who are very much informed by American Nationalist Christianity. So there's something in that that it’s kind of fitting their narrative of we are secret warriors against the evil satanic world that hates us and wants to kill us. And it feeds that hero, talk about comic books, it kind of feeds that hero narrative that a lot of people (have).

I mean, you know American Christians it is so weird, you guys, American Christianity is the like I said, the most powerful Christians have ever been ever in the history of Christianity. And yet, the dominant narrative is “we are a beleaguered minority. And they're out to get us and we're gonna lose our rights”. And there has never been a time when Christians have been as solid and secure and well resourced.

Seth Price 57:25

I asked that question to people when they say they're being oppressed. And I'll ask them when was the last time you were oppressed? And please be specific.. And that's the semi colon that I'll add after was like it please be specific. And it's always crickets. Always and please be specific. Not what you saw, not what your friend did. Like when was last time you Stephen were oppressed.

Stephen Backhouse 57:49

Yeah.

Seth Price 57:51

Please be specific. And then I'm like, “Well, okay. So you…you were because it seemed traumatic a minute ago, but you can't remember it.”

Stephen Backhouse 57:58

Yes, these anger and tears and rage. Didn't happen. It didn't happen to you or anybody, you know.

Seth Price 58:04

Yeah, I know. (So is) the goal of QANON to conscript the church's influence in power. Is it political? Is it to break the church?

Stephen Backhouse 58:11

No, no! The goal isn’t to conscripted the churches. What this is showing is the usurpation of the Christian imagination that has just been sucked into this narrative. It doesn’t have[sic] Christians in mind. It's meant to be (that) QANON, the anonymous source, is meant to be some insider in the Trump administration, who is releasing tidbits of information, and that Trump is your man. He's like, deeply embedded on the inside. And he's against the global elites, and eventually, he's gonna rescue everybody and blow the lid on this. Since we're on chat. Since we're on conspiracy theory, what's

Seth Price 58:44

Since we're on conspiracy theories, what's the the odds that it's somehow the same genetically like grandfathered child of the Q from Scripture? (Stephen laughs) What are the odds there since we're already on conspiracy, like it's a title that gets passed down Q, it is a title.

Stephen Backhouse 59:01

It's the Q manuscript! So I guess Pentecostals do believe in this after all.

Seth Price 59:03

Why not, anyhow.

Stephen Backhouse 59:06

It is really similar. I was listening to, there's a great if we're gonna plug other people's podcasts, there's one called, You're Wrong About That. Have you heard of Your Wrong About That?

Seth Price 59:12

No, but I like the name already.

Stephen Backhouse 59:16

It's two journalists. And they go back at various pop culture, big events that happened the last 30 years, 20-30 years. And they just look at them again. And they find little details that we hadn't noticed and stuff. And the very first episode is the Satanic Panic in the 80s. Where if you remember, there's a huge foster Yes, yeah, just networks of child daycares across the country are actually being run as pedophile satanic rings. And hearing them talk about that, which that podcast was made five years ago or something like that. And you realize, wow, that's just what q anon is says all the same; it's just come back again. And then it's very similar to what you know, in the Reformation (that) they said about Jews. It's what, in Germany, they were saying the Jews were doing. And it's the same story it's just the actors slightly change. There's always a secret group of wealthy elites, and they're always sacrificing babies and eating them. And they always have a plan to take over the world. And the plan always involves latest technology, whatever that might be.

Seth Price 1:00:21

Always. Yeah.

Stephen Backhouse 1:00:22

And it just happens again and again and again.

Seth Price 1:00:25

Yeah, so you're gonna like this professional segue? Because the only podcast that we should really be plugging besides this one is the one that you do.

Stephen Backhouse 1:00:34

This is the Steven Backhouse plug hour (laughter)!

Seth Price 1:00:38

But no, it is good. So in closing, I'm gonna ask you again, because last time you told people not to do anything that is related to you. And I think that that's a travesty. Your your podcast actually is one of the better ones. I was listening to yours with William Paul Young and Brad Jersak, just a little while ago, I really enjoyed it. I liked the Q and A's. But I'm liking the non Q and A's as well. And q&a is hard to talk about after we talked about QANON. But I mean, question and answer, that's what I mean. So where do you want people to go listen to things and you're more than welcome to plug your own podcast there.

Stephen Backhouse 1:01:14

Oh, go and listen to my podcast! It's called Tent Theology. It's based on the venture I started called Tent Theology, which is my traveling theology School, which I can't travel now. So I started a podcast instead. And it alternates between interviews with various people, some of whom are well known, and some of whom are just really good people that I know, or who I've come across; and also some of my teaching. So I have years of material that I've decided to start to talk into microphone. I have a line by line, political theology, reading of the Gospel of Mark.

Seth Price 1:01:54

Yeah, Mark,, there was an episode on marks few weeks ago.

Stephen Backhouse 1:01:58

Yeah, I started to release that a bit. I'm not gonna do the whole thing on Mark, for the free podcast. I think I'm gonna put some of it behind the Patreon because I don't think people really want 30 episodes, they didn't sign on for 30 episodes on Mark. If you want to, you can pay $3 a month and get Mark. But I would say if you're interested, I mean, do check out the interviews I do with Brad Jersak. You know, Brad, he's a friend of this show.

Seth Price 1:02:26

Brad's great.

Stephen Backhouse 1:02:28

Yeah, he is easily the kindest man I've ever met. I mean, he's such a nice man. And I want to be Brak Jersak when I grow up, you know? So there's a Brad Jersak interview where he’s essentially talking me through my midlife crisis of not wanting to be a Christian anymore.

Seth Price 1:02:40

Brad is great. Um, I'll tell you this in a second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so I really appreciate your time. For me, it's late afternoon for you we're coming on what Sundown?

Stephen Backhouse 1:02:54

Oh it’s fine! Yeah, it's dark outside, it’s 8:30 at night; it is fine.

Seth Price 1:02:55

The globe is massive. So it's hard to keep track of time and the time zones.

Stephen Backhouse 1:03:01

So I will say, by the way, just if people did want to listen to Tent Theology, I was gonna say. The first three, if you start at episode one, which is fine, and it's good, I recommend that's a good place to start. But the first three episodes are slightly negative; it's me dealing with people writing to me in distress. And they are really angry, they're upset, they're losing their faith. And it's all about that.

The catalyst was Donald Trump holding up a Bible in front of a church and then using the State to clear people up. But after about episode three, we kind of get the negative stuff out of the way, and we turn a corner and we start talking about how good the Kingdom of God really is. And we start to renew the political imagination.

So I would say to listeners, it's not 20 episodes of us talking about how awful American Evangelicals are, that actually is not what happens. We, turn the corner on episode three, and it becomes how good Jesus is and how good the kingdom is, and how relevant it can be for actual, everyday practical life. And I interview a whole lot of Americans as well. So it's not an anti-American podcast.

Seth Price 1:04:11

No, I will say those first three, because you even say, you know, “John writes in and asks”, and I found myself in the car going? Yeah, I know. I know, John, maybe not, John, but I've heard that question; that happened on Wednesday. Yeah; don't necessarily bypass those. But I totally get that. Yeah, absolutely.

Stephen Backhouse 1:04:29

I wouldn't say bypass them. I just say be aware. Yeah, that if you start episode one, that doesn't mean it's going to be 20 episodes of bashing Trump. That doesn't happen.

Seth Price 1:04:39

Stephen thank you again for your time this evening. Very much. So I appreciate it.

Stephen Backhouse 1:04:42

Bless you. I'd say that it is just an extraordinary bad time of history, but I don't think it's hopeless. I don't think it's hopeless. I do think that this is a great time to be salt and light and people of peace. But just remember, a person of peace doesn't mean you're going to drop bombs on your enemies. But we are people of peace. And we get to really do that now. And it might mean banding together with groups of fellow travelers a little bit more than it means picking fights with our enemies. Like going into a village and you find that Jesus says go. He doesn't say go and find the person who's most resistant to your message. He says, go and find the person of peace and stay with them.

And if people are resistant treat them with benign indifference and move on. And I think that might be a survival tactic-it's the one I have right now. And I find no shame in dealing with issues of the world the way Jesus told me to which was seek out people of peace. So if the fight is wearing you down, stop fighting.

Seth Price 1:05:40

Yeah, I like that.

Seth Price (Ending) 1:05:43

As this year draws to a close, I think that it's important to keep our mindset framed on what the goal is for our faith, for next year. And I'll tell you what mine is-mine is to figure out a way to be quiet more often than I speak. To try to hear other people and understand where they're coming from instead of just lambasting humans, because they don't agree with me. And I'm not the best at that, you can ask my wife and my close friends and family. But that is what my goal is, I've got to figure out a way to love other people that I don't see eye to eye on with things that are deeply important to me. I don't know what that looks like for you.

This week's episode was produced by the Patreon supporters of the show and I'm so thankful for every single one of you click the button, make that happen. Remember, if you want to go to the store for the show and buy any of the merchandise there, there is a promo code that is going to save you 15% that is FU2020. Because FU2020.

So and then one last thanks, music today is from friend of the show Remedy Drive. Their lyrics are haunting, aren't they? They cause you to sit and steep and what the implications of them are. And I think that that is a fantastic and prophetic way to use music. The song today is called Using My Name. And that is on their upcoming release that comes out in the middle of January called Imago Amor. You're gonna find links to that song when it's available on the Spotify playlist. I'm thankful for you.

Be blessed.

We'll talk in a week

The Way of BEING with Jon Steingard / Transcript

Note: Can I Say This at Church is produced for audio listening. If able, I strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which has inflection, emotion, sarcasm where applicable, and emphasis for points that may not come across well in written word. This transcript is generated using a combination of my ears and software, and may contain errors. Please check the episode for clarity before quoting in print.

Back to the Audio Episode


Jon Steingard 0:08

I've really realized that Christianity has brought a ton of value to humanity as a whole. And I'm not one of those people that's, you know, crusading against religion and thinks that it's like a blight upon humanity. I can't help but notice that basically, no culture has ever arisen without some form of religion. So religion is serving a function. And before we just, arbitrarily, do away with it, it's probably a good idea to understand what that function is. And so at the very least, I realized saying this isn't enough to call myself a Christian. But at the very least, I look at Christianity, and I say, there's some real value in those ideas. And before we throw the bathwater out, we might want to know how much baby is in it.

Seth Price 1:24

Everybody, welcome to the game. Welcome to the show. I'm Seth, your host, this is the Can I Say This At Church podcast, I am so very, very excited that you're here. Thank you for taking the time to download the show. And I'm going to thank you in advance for taking the time to share the show and tell your friends about it.

Today got a conversation that I had with Jon Steingard, who is the ex lead singer of Hawk Nelson, that may or may not be a band that you're familiar with. But if you've ever turned on the radio, and listen to the you know, the music that K-Love or Spirit FM or Way FM play, you'll hear his voice. And the music is it's not my style, but that's okay. I think you'll hear Jon and I referenced that a little bit in the episode. However, he wrote a post a while back and it became a thing. And I thought it was fascinating just what happened and kind of his spiritual growth and spiritual journey there. So I asked him to come on. And I continue to be amazed at how many people just say, Sure, let's do it with so little prompting. And so it was very appreciative of Jon’s time. And his honesty, he told me there were no off limit questions, and I really am happy with this one. So there we go.

Seth Price 2:49

Jon, welcome to the show, man. Thanks for making the time. Thanks for saying yes. It's always amazing to me when I email someone out of the blue and they're like, “Sure, let's do it”. I always get a little more humbled each and every time cuz I literally have. Anyway, thanks for being here, man.

Jon Steingard 3:04

Oh, dude, thanks so much for having me man. I love these conversations. I think they're really helpful and constructive. And so whenever I see, you know, someone kind of reached out to me, I go like, hey, what good thing could happen in this conversation. And with the title of your podcast, you know, I just I love…you're touching on something really important to me. And it's the importance of asking questions and creating a space for questions. And so yeah, man, no brainer!

Seth Price 3:30

I'm a fan of my title. I wish I'd come up with it. A friend of mine came up with it about like, years ago, like, here's what I want to do. He's like, you can't say that at church and I was like you. You did it. I'm taking Yeah, it's mine. Yeah. And then no money. And I'm not going to Josh, I'm not going because I know you're gonna listen, and you're not getting any. So tell people about you. So I'll tell them a little bit just for a primer. So as you turn on K-Love, or Spirit FM or whatever, every once in a while they'll play songs by a band named Hawk Nelson, which is your voice? Well, probably not just your voice, but your voice. Yeah, that's a little bit about you. But that's easy to just Google. So tell me when like in a nutshell, real? Yeah. This is what makes Jon…Jon?

Jon Steingard 4:07

Yeah, I mean, my background, I grew up in a Christian home in Canada. My dad's a pastor. I started touring with Hawk Nelson when I was 20. I was the guitarist originally, I became the singer in 2012, when our old singer left, so there was a bit of a transition there. And then, you know, we did three albums with me as the singer. And then over the last couple of years, I've been taking steps back from music, and Christian music specifically, for a number of reasons. And some of them were just that I became a father and I wanted to spend more time with my kids and then some of it has a lot to do with some things that I was processing to do with faith and belief in God and asking questions about my sort of Christian upbringing and Christian beliefs that I didn't feel like I had the strength to ask before. And that has sort of led me to a place where earlier this year, I felt the need to sort of publicly be honest about where I was at with those questions. And that meant admitting that I wasn't sure I believed in God anymore.

And that set off a bit more of a, of a domino effect that I hadn't anticipated. When I did that, we had already sort of been tapering back our involvement with the band and our involvement with Christian music in general. And so I sort of didn't live under any illusions that, you know, I was the center of anyone's universe. And certainly, I still am not. But when I came out and said that I wasn't sure I believed in God anymore. That struck a chord with a lot more people than I anticipated. And I probably could have seen that coming if I had thought about it more.

And since then, I've been on this journey of continuing to ask questions about God and our ideas of God in different philosophies of being. Because one thing I've discovered is, if you build your entire life on Christian beliefs, and then you get rid of those Christian beliefs, what do you do? And, you know, how do you live your life? And what do you value and what do you aim at? And that's a really big problem. And I've been trying to answer those questions for the last six months.

Seth Price 6:19

Yeah, I briefly, 10 minutes ago at a red light, which is actually when I emailed you, as we confirmed this; I wasn't driving. My wife will listen, I wasn't driving when I emailed.

Jon Steingard 6:29

Sure.

Seth Price 6:30

I was at that one light by target that takes five days to turn green. She knows what I'm talking about. Yeah, I just briefly googled you and just looked at, like the top 20 things. And when you posted what you posted, I have to think that you thought yeah, this will get five people to comment, and then we'll go on about Wednesday, or Tuesday, or whatever the date was.

Jon Steingard 6:48

Yeah, I thought it would create waves locally within Christian music, and then within a week, it would just be, you know, blow over.

Seth Price 6:57

So what are your thoughts on why that hasn't happened? Like it can't just be you like, there's something else there.

Jon Steingard 7:05

So I think it's complex. I think there's a couple of things. I do think that there is I mean, of course, the the part of the sort of, quote unquote, Christian response to that, and this is an something I sort of take issue with fundamentally and in general, is that, oh, the media love stories of Christians losing their faith, because it affirms the narrative that they're trying to tell the world that it's better to not be a Christian. And when Christians say stuff like that, I actually do feel like they're sort of finding something that's slightly…I do think there's a nugget of truth to that. So I don't think it's a completely unfair assertion. But I think it's really incomplete to say it just like that.

So I think there is an element of the media (that) are interested in stories of people leaving faith. I think there's a nugget of truth there, even though not as much as I sort of think that sometimes Christians play it as-but then I also think there's this cultural reality within within Christianity that it's not real easy to publicly talk about your doubts and your questions. And this is why I think that the thrust of your podcast is so meaningful, that you're trying to create space for exactly that. And I know, for me, in addition to being a part of the culture that sort of already was not super welcoming of questions. I was also a public figure within Christian music, which means that my livelihood depended on me continuing to hold the beliefs that I held and not you know, contradicting them. And so for me, I was just like, I don't feel like I was even able to really ask these questions at all for quite a long time. And I think so many people out there, whether they're public figures or not, most of them not being, I think many people feel that frustration of like, “I have these questions, and I don't feel like I can ask them.” And so when someone steps out, and does, there's an interest there, because there's just not enough people doing it publicly.

Seth Price 9:18

Yeah, I would agree with that. I can't tell you how many people…I get this. It's annoying. Actually, I'm the worst person at email period at work at home with the kids school with COVID. Like, my wife has to babysit me to make sure that like, “Did you see the thing about the (school) pictures, and this, and the testing, and dropoff location?” And I'm like, “Yeah”, no, no, I didn't. I didn't.

Jon Steingard 9:38

Of course I did! Yeah, I did, honey. Yeah.

Seth Price 9:40

Yes. I saw that they emailed me. It did see that they did send an email. Yeah, I can't say how many emails I get from people that are like, what about this? Can I get resources for this? What about this, I said this and now I don't have a community anymore do you know anybody in the middle of wherever, wherever they live, that will accept me and give me a place to do community with people because I've been like, I can't go there anymore. Like I've been told don't come back because you're causing other people to have some problems or some questions. And we've got a business to run.

Jon Steingard 10:12

I think if you're told don't come back because you're causing problems, I think that you potentially should consider not going back, but not for the reasons that they're giving. You know, like, I actually think even if you are a believer, I think there are plenty of Christian communities that are open and welcoming to people that have questions. And I think to paint it as if all Christians are intolerant people who can't handle their faith being questioned is not accurate or fair at all.

Seth Price 10:42

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it's definitely a lie. Yeah. Music question for you. So you did Hawk Nelson. What 20 years? I feel like I remember them…

Jon Steingard 10:50

I think it’s like 17, or something like that

Seth Price 10:52

Round up to date.

Jon Steingard 10:54

Yeah, I was the guitar player initially through all those pop punk days, really. And then in 2012, when I became the singer, we sort of transition into more of a pop oriented thing.

Seth Price 11:07

Is that because of you?

Jon Steingard 11:09

Yeah, I was really actually, it wasn't my idea to become the singer. I had always sort of excluded that as a possibility. Because I was not like a pop punk guy really. I felt like, in the role of guitar player I can play that role. I can, you know, like, I can be the guitar player in a pop punk band. But I didn't think that I had the persona or the sort of just sound vocally, to pull that off. And so, when I took over singing in the band, we basically gave ourselves permission to totally reinvent the sound. And that was the thing that enabled us to even consider doing it.

I mean, there was no version of the plan that was like, yeah, we're gonna keep being pop punk. After pop punk days, seem to have waned anyways with a singer who doesn't do it well, like, it's just like, yeah. And we played old songs. Like, initially, for a while, we played old songs, because we had to, I mean, we were writing new songs. And, and we very strategically chose songs from our old catalog that we felt like I could pull off. And the first couple of years of playing some old songs, some new, it wasn't super fun for me. So once we had two albums with me as the singer, once we had that second one, we didn't play any old songs after that.

Seth Price 12:47

You had enough back catalogue. So over those, let's just say 20 years, I want to revisionist history just a bit in your brain of shares as it relates to theology and God and religion and faith. So if the label, or your bandmates, assuming that they didn't, I don't know, because this is assumption from me, had given more space for each other to write lyrics (and) the concert venues had allow you to come in and sing songs of you wrestling with faith; because I have to think it wasn't just the last few years. That's kind of the outpouring of this show was a long time of really wrestling with God. And at the end, I had all this data and all this reading, and I'm like, well, why would I hoard this? Like, how do I try to give some of this back? For me, isn't just a “Oh, today, I'm doubting God”, it was a long build up. So if there had been space, or was there space to kind of write lyrics in such a way that you could wrestle with things, nightly, daily in between music sessions, if that makes sense? If there had been a space or if there wasn't a space, do you feel like you would be where you're at right now?

Jon Steingard 13:53

Well, I mean, I think to a large degree, market forces determine what happens in any industry, right. And Christian music is no different. I think there actually is a lot of space to make music that takes a lot of different forms, but the market will reward you or disincentivize you from exploring certain things. So like, one person that I find really interesting is John Mark McMillan love him. He's interesting to me, because he's a really deep thinker. He's a tortured soul for certain. And he writes some music that's incredibly transformative and incredibly artistic and not your standard Christian stuff. But he can do that because he wrote How He Loves.

Seth Price 14:41

He gets royalty checks, right?

Jon Steingard 14:44

So literally, that one song was so big that to a degree he's still living off of it. I mean, I don't know what his statements are. But like, when you have a song that goes that big within the church for a number of years you can live off it entirely. And then it'll start to taper off. I doubt he could live off that song entirely now, but regardless, it gave him enough wind in his sails, that he could do other other things. And so to a degree, it's like, until you have success on that level, you actually don't have a ton of freedom. And there's no gatekeeper that's making that so you know what I mean? Although you could make an argument for K-Love now.

Seth Price 15:30

That they're allowing people to voice dissent?

Jon Steingard 15:33

Oh, sorry that you could make an argument for K-Love now that they're so big that they actually are able to map the trajectory of Christian music as whole.

Seth Price 15:41

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Jon Steingard 15:43

Which I actually think they are that big. And, I actually think they're aware of it too. And, and even further, I think they're uncomfortable with that, which I commend them on, whenever I get a sense that they're uncomfortable with how influential they are. I think that's actually kind of great. Yeah, I'm not fully answering your question here. Let me try and take another stab at it here. I I think that there is. I think that as soon as you are putting yourself in front of people the way that you do in bands, all the rules are different.

It's the same way it's like, you know, does a pastor have the freedom to question? I mean, technically they do, but they're aware of the consequences, right? It's like, if a pastor gets up on Sunday, and says, I'm not sure if I believe in the resurrection, then there's a there's a pretty good chance that that pastor is not getting up the next Sunday. Right.

So I think it's sort of a fundamental, just factor that's built into culture. And it's not a it's not anything that any sort of gatekeepers or powerful people are creating. So in a sense, I think you do have the freedom to question and doubt it's just that you don't have the freedom to question and doubt absence of consequences: And yeah, so I realized that that's not a super straightforward answer. But I think that's how it is more or less.

Seth Price 17:13

So you're not the first artists that I spoke with. I spoke with Dave Zach, I've spoke with John Mark McMillan, actually, and then Derek Webb.

Jon Steingard 17:22

Oh, cool.

Seth Price 17:23

Maybe someone else like that. I'm not yet remembering at the moment. And they've all given similar answers. But yeah, I remember David was like, Yeah, I don't, I don't write songs for Caleb anymore. Like, I'm not concerned with Susan, or whatever the name of the person's AR. He's like, right? I just, I'm just not. And I'm just I just can't, I'm not and I can't and I won't and, you know, yeah. And everyone's given a similar answer. Or not similar, but around the same corner points that I'd like to pivot to God a bit. So I read your Instagram posts, and I've since then stalked you on on Instagram. I haven't followed you. Because I want to be that guy that randomly likes things (Jon laughs) but is not a follower. Because if you're like me, and maybe you're not because you've got a lot more followers. Like I notice when I'm like, Well, why is this person even on my page? Like, why are they here? But maybe that's me, the the banker brain of me of who are these people? How did they get here? Where did they come? Um, what are some of the things that you're currently wrestling with as it comes to your concept in view of God and faith, theology? All of the things?

Jon Steingard 18:25

Yeah, I mean, what's interesting is that when I wrote that post, I really thought—because I had been fighting against this sort of…I had felt this pressure to hold a certain set of views for my whole life as a pastor's kid growing up, there's pressure to hold those views. Because it reflected on my parents…

Seth Price 18:46

What are those views just In brief?

Jon Steingard 18:48

I'm sorry, just like Christian views in general, like traditional mainstream Christian views, about God, about Jesus, about salvation. And then, you know, within the context of Hawk Nelson and Christian music, you know, it's obviously expected that I hold those views too. An so when I came out and said that I don't believe in God anymore, I really did feel a sense of freedom to being, you know, get released from that pressure, which was really actually awesome. But then I was faced with the question of like, well, what now? Right? And, and since then, I've been more obsessed with learning about ideas about God than I than I ever have been. I've read Scripture more than I have in a long time. I've studied Scripture more than I have in a long time. I've studied philosophy and theology and psychology a lot more and tried to get a little bit closer to the bottom of this idea of like, when we're talking about God, what are we talking about, and where did those ideas come from? And one of the things that I've realized recently is (that) because I was raised in a Christian home, and raised with Christian values, and this is actually true for anyone who's raised in Western culture at all it's almost impossible for me to extricate myself from those Christian ideas and Christian values.

I mean, even the idea of human rights is predicated upon the idea that every human being has intrinsic value. And that idea, you know, was not prevalent before Christianity. It wasn’t if you study Roman and Greek culture, the idea that every human being had value that was not present in that culture.

Seth Price 20:40

Most people were property.

Jon Steingard 20:43

Yeah. And there was a sense of, you know, like, I mean we could get way deep into that but I've really realized that Christianity has brought a ton of value to humanity as a whole. And I'm not one of those people that's, you know, crusading against religion and thinks that it's like a blight upon humanity. I can't help but notice that basically, no culture has ever arisen without some form of religion. So religion is serving a function. And before we just arbitrarily do away with it, it's probably a good idea to understand what that function is. And so at the very least, I realized, saying this isn't enough to call myself a Christian. But at the very least, I look at Christianity and I say, there's some real value in those ideas. And before we throw the bathwater out we might want to know how much baby is in it!

Seth Price 21:42

I’ve never had anybody say that that way?

Jon Steingard 21:44

So that's sort of where I'm at right now. And then I've also been studying apologetics and I've been engaging with a number of apologetic thinkers who have been very, very kind to me. And some of them have, you know, become real, genuine friends in this process. And I've sort of come to the conclusion studying apologetics that the whole field of apologetics hasn't yet convinced me that Christianity is true. But it has convinced me that it's a reasonable position to hold.

And so those two things coupled, I mean, the fact that I think you can be an intelligent, reasonable person and reach the conclusion that Christianity might be true. And then simultaneously, you can look at what Christianity has given humanity as far as culture and ideas and you go like, well, if it's reasonable to believe it, and if it's beneficial to believe it, then that's kind of powerful. None of that indicates whether it's literally true or not. But I'm still compelled by those two ideas of the fact that it seems reasonable to me, and it also seems beneficial. And so I'm almost in this place where I'm like, maybe your best to just go with it because it might be better. You know, it might it might be so nothing in there is enough for people I think to be like, Oh, yeah, John's a Christian again. But I certainly, that's where my head has been recently.

Seth Price 23:23

Personally, Jon, I'm not overly concerned with labels like I think evangelical means something different. I think it means something political. I could care less about Democrat, Republican, even the word Christian to me doesn't have any power. Is your name in a way to categorize me in a I think we're a similar age. So I'll just in that Dewey Decimal System with the index card in the back of the library, that's all that I think, where I belong. And kids that are listening. That's a thing. Google it. And you'll see how libraries used to work back in the day before the internet. So I'm not concerned with labels, in so much as I sometimes struggle to call myself a Christian.

Jon Steingard 24:01

Really? Why is that?

Seth Price 24:03

This is not how podcast works. I ask you the questions (laughter).

So because that word means something. So in America, the word Christian means anti-abortion, probably Republican, I think that people have value only if they give money to the church. At least that's not what I say but that's actually how I act and what I do with the power that I have. When I quote Jesus to people, and when I try to do things in the way that I think Jesus would have them done, I get overtly called that I'm not Christian. I'm not religious. I've lost the faith. So the way that people use the word Christian doesn't mean anything to me because when they say it, and when I try to live it, those are two entirely-entirely separate things.

Jon Steingard 24:49

You know, what's interesting is if you just publicly say that you're not a Christian, and you don't believe in God, it's almost like you're resetting the spectrum of people's expectations. And then if you flirt with Christianity at all then you might hold a view that if you had never said, “I don't believe in God”, the people might be horrified about this view. But since you've already gone all the way over there, the fact that you hold this view now it's like, well, now people like view that is progress. Yeah, so it's like, it's like, you just need to go all the way to atheism, and then work your way back and people will cheer on every step. It's amazing. Except the atheists, they'll say that you're ignorant. But, you know.

Seth Price 25:34

You can’t make everybody happy.

Jon Steingard 25:36

No, and most of us are ignorant, and in at least a few ways, anyways.

Seth Price 25:40

More than a few. I only know a handful of things. Well, most of them are related to my family. And then the other is whatever book I happen to be reading, that's about it. The rest of the stuff I've mostly forgotten. What is your, I guess, has there been any flirtations with other faiths as your base? Like, I don't believe in a Christian God, because that's mostly what your post was about, like, has there been flirtations? What have you gone after? What have you learned from those?

Jon Steingard 26:03

Yeah, I went through a phase where I studied other world religions, at least on a surface level, and then I dove deeper in some of the ones that that interested me the most. So outside of Christianity, the sort of, it's called a religion. I'm not positive that it's a religion in the same sense as Christianity. But Buddhism is actually to me it's less of a religion and more like a philosophy of life. Or you could say, a philosophy of being. And there's a ton in Buddhism that I'm like, “Yes, yes, like this explains a lot. And this is very helpful”.

You know, on the surface, especially Buddhism is sort of agnostic about the idea of God. I mean, a lot of Buddhist thought, would actually not be completely incompatible with Christianity. Now, if you go deep enough, you get into the reincarnation stuff, and like, that, I can see there being a disconnect. But there's a lot about Buddhist thought that has been really helpful to me.

The idea of meditation I think, is really powerful. And Christians are essentially engaging in meditation when they pray. And so, you know, there's actually been a lot of science that meditation and prayer activate very similar parts of the brain, the only difference being that silent meditation doesn't activate linguistic centers, and prayer does, but you can also do non silent meditation, which sort of does the same thing. But I have this one sort of Buddhist meditation that I actually use a lot when I'm stressed out. And it's just these four phrases that you just repeat a few times, while you sort of take deep breaths, and you kind of calm yourself down. And it only takes like a minute. So I sometimes do it throughout the day. And the four phrases are

  1. joyful, energetic body-and you just sort of say that to yourself a couple of times, either in your mind or, or, or verbally,

  2. and then you say, loving, compassionate heart.

  3. And then you say, reflective, alert mind.

  4. And then you say, Lightness of Being.

And you just sort of go through those four phrases. And think about them and contemplate them. And there's something about when you set your intention to those ideas, it's like your mind and your body sort of align and they sort of, they accept that as an aim. And even a minute or two of contemplating those four phrases, I very often notice that I come out of it feeling a lot more peaceful. And one thing I found interesting, that I've only thought of recently, is that last one, “Lightness of Being”. You know, Lightness of Being that sort of encapsulates almost all the other three in a way. And being is one of the words that I've been trying out as a replacement for God as far as my own thinking, and going like, okay, like, the way that I used to think about God, you know, maybe there's something to considering the idea of being itself. And that term being used for like, that from which everything arises and that which sustains all things. And there's a guy named Paul Tillich who had this idea of called the “ground of being” which is sort of one way to conceptualize God.

And I find it interesting that the word being kind of dovetails between that ground of being idea and then the Buddhist idea of Lightness of Being. Yeah, so I went on a tangent there, but basically, yes, Buddhism is the one that I've probably found the most interesting. Taoism I actually, there's a lot about Taoism that I'm really curious about and interested in, I read Tao Te Ching and for anyone that doesn't know that's sort of not exactly a Taoist scripture, but it's sort of a, it's a good book to sort of sum up Taoist thought. And it's very, very old. And I understood maybe 10% of it. But what I did understand was pretty profound. So I think a couple of the Eastern religions have been the most helpful to me.

But I found a lot of benefit and even just intellectually learning about Islam, about Judaism, about Hinduism, about Jainism. Jainism is very strange. But interesting. So, yeah, there's a lot to learn out there. And what I've come to is that, even within Christian thought, there's this idea that all truth is God's truth. And so instead of being scared to contemplate other religions, I actually, often, would say, like, to any Christian, like, go and learn about Islam, go and learn about about Buddhism. Whatever is true will be true regardless of what books you avoid, or don't avoid. And even as a Christian, I think you can have confidence that if God is real and he is who He says He is, then he'll reveal himself in all kinds of places.

Seth Price 31:55

I spoke with a Sikh the other day. I’m trying to intentionally so I spoke with a Buddhist this year, a sick and I'm trying to find a Muslim to speak with that, that I feel like Well, let me ask questions in a way that may be maybe insulting because of my ignorance, because I know, you know, there's some people and then same thing in Christianity, there's dogmatic that if you ask the wrong question, like that's it-interview is done! Yeah, that guy's an idiot.

Jon Steingard 32:18

Sure, there actually are plenty of Muslims that are open to sort of having those conversations,

Seth Price 32:29

I'm going to get those names before we leave.

Not that I haven't intentionally saw it. I really want to do it locally. Like I want to talk in the same room. And that's hard in the environment that we're in. And in the scheduling for my kids and COVID. And my job. Oh, just it just hard. I hate always doing this over Zoom. Now, in this case, we're on the different side of the continent, not necessarily just the country. So this has to happen. But you know what I mean? But when I spoke with that gentleman, and by the time this releases, it will already have been out, like, at the end of that episode, I literally wrote down, I've got it written down right here on the desk of “we're not any different”. Like literally the night conversation. I was like, pretty sure I could go to his church, and except for not knowing the songs, I'd be entirely fine. And I would hope vice versa. But the way that I live is really not any different than the way that he lives in practice. Mm hmm. Which maybe I'm a bad Christian. Maybe he's a bad Sikh, maybe we're both just decent humans. Maybe we're not? I don't know. I don't actually know the answer to that question.

Jon Steingard 33:26

Well, I mean, the thing that, I think is that there are certain things about existence and humanity and reality that are sort of just objectively true. And it shouldn't be a surprise, then that any religion that survives to be, you know, meaningful to a large number of people is going to have elements of those same things, otherwise, it just wouldn't work. Yeah. And so it comes back to, like, religions only survive if they do something, if they provide motivation for something that's meaningful, if they provide comfort for, you know, if they provide you with tools to face the suffering of existence, you know, which is one of the primary functions of religion, I think.

Seth Price 34:09

So quick questions, just lightning round, if you will. And I don't ever do lightning rounds, but for some reason, so also Jon I don't script these so the questions are right off the head. So I try to make this as close to us grabbing a beer if possible, assuming you drink. I definitely drink I don't know if you do, but I do. Though I can’t do this while I drink.

Jon Steingard 34:27

Yeah, I've done both ways. I've done interviews with a beer in hand, especially if it's audio only. And and I've come to the realization that I might think I'm better with a beer in hand, but I don't think I objectively am better.

Seth Price 34:41

I after the debate I popped on I got on Xbox with a couple friends of mine. I don't even think I played but mostly I just wanted to someone to talk to. And yes, apparently hilarious, but and I don't believe I was drunk. However, it was one of those things where they were like, Who are you like your jokes are funnier and you're being really mean? To Person A, B or C, I'm like, Well, I mean, he's being a punk, you know, so there's no way I could do this in a respectful manner. Sure. Um, but the weeds I love the weed. So I'm like, I'm a five on the enneagram. I like it every linked article that I can find to that one word that really doesn't matter for the whole paper, but I wasn't sure the data. Yeah, so just quick, just quick yes or no question. So is having a real place?

Jon Steingard 35:26

I don't know.

Seth Price 35:27

Is hell.

Jon Steingard 35:29

Um, I think it's here now.

Seth Price 35:32

Perfect.

Jon Steingard 35:33

I know, that's not yes or no, but those are really hard to answer yes or no. I would say Heaven and Hell are both here now for sure. And eternity. I have no idea.

Seth Price 35:42

Fair enough. The Quran, the Bible, the Torah, any other book that I can't pronounce from a different faith, equal value? Or is one superior or not none of value of all outside of philosophical?

Jon Steingard 35:54

I think they're certainly all worth studying. And I don't feel qualified. I think the Bible is the most remarkable document in human history and everything outside of that I don't feel qualified to...I probably am not even qualified to say that. (laughs from Seth) But that's my current impression, but I think they're all worth studying. Absolutely.

Seth Price 36:14

Yeah. Fair enough. Also, yeah. So I don't disagree with you on Heaven, or Hell, I have no more lightning round questions to ask. Most of you said, Heaven and Hell are here. And now. I'm curious what you mean by that. But let talk a bit about what I think hell is. So I think hell is something that you and I actively create, by intentionally making decisions that break community and compassion and Shalom. Like we're creating it. It's not a place I go to it is a place that I am making. And I think the same thing for heaven like that's it, that's what the kingdom is, is you and I generating something, creating something? And how is the inverse of that? For right now, I could care less where I go when I die, because existential questions don't hold much weight over me. But, what do you think those two are?

Jon Steingard 37:01

Well, I'm amazed that you're able to say that existential questions don't hold much weight over you, because I feel like they guide my existence (laughter). I feel like I'm obsessed with them. But yeah, I fundamentally agree with you on heaven and hell. I have zero data that I trust on the afterlife, right? Because it's like, How do I know? Right? So tabling that, you know, do I believe in heaven and hell in a sense right now? I mean, what I'm fascinated by is if you go back and you read the the sayings attributed to Jesus in the gospels, he talks a lot about the kingdom of God or the kingdom of heaven. If you read that as talking about what you just said, here and now, Scripture kind of comes to life! Because I really do think I am with you, every time we make consequential decisions, we're either making things better or worse for ourselves, for our families, for our communities.

And if you're capable of getting yourself in order and getting yourself together, such that you can make those decisions better than you can bring more and more good to your future self. And also, like yourself now, yourself in the future, your family, your community, your country, like, if you're able to do that really well, there's almost no limit to how far that can spread. And the same is true if you're making really detrimental choices that are damaging to yourself, and to your family, and to your community. And we all know people that are one or the other of those; that once you set yourself down that path, in either direction, it becomes easier and easier and easier to keep walking that out. And so that's become one of the guiding principles for me is going like “okay, I don't know about the metaphysics of God and was Jesus resurrected. I don't, I'm not sure, but I do know concretely that, that I'm capable of making choices that make life better or worse for myself, my family, and my community and so on”.

And so whichever direction I choose to go in it seems to me that pursuing God in a way is a description of trying to choose that path of goodness towards the people- towards yourself and yourself in the future and your family and so on. So, yeah, I think that heaven is expressed as the ultimate ideal of the one destination lying at the end of that one path. And hell being the sort of destination lying at the end of that other path. And you know, when I study the 20th century, and you know, Auschwitz and the Soviet gulags and the probable hundred million people that were killed by, you know, Mao's communist regime in China that we never hear about. Yeah, it's hard not to believe in hell when you read about that stuff.

Seth Price 40:17

100% Yeah. Although that would be one of the things on my list of people would say, “I'm not a Christian, like, I don't fit into the label anymore, because I don't believe in some fiery pit”. There's actually sure and posted a picture thing on Facebook today at Gehenna, in Israel. And the sign literally says, In Hebrew, there are no fires here, like, none. Enjoy your stay, see what you want to see. Take your pictures, but just FYI, there are no fires here. (Jon laughs) Um, yeah. I'm curious, what is the impact been on your family? You know, yeah, of all this madness that I'm participating in now. What has the impact meant for your family?

Jon Steingard 40:54

Yeah, I mean, well, my wife has been on a very similar journey to me, which I'm grateful for, because I know a lot of people that have sort of gone gone through this process of deconstruction in their faith, and, and maybe their spouse wasn't on board and then cause some problems, you know. So I'm grateful that that wasn't the case for us. I mean, my wife and I are both pastor's kids, we have very similar baggage. And so yeah, my kids are three and two. So they're not quite articulating these things yet. But, I think the fact that our kids are with us, and that we're conscious of our responsibility to raise them has put fuel on this particular fire.

Because it's like, it's caused both my wife and I to be like, well, man, we need to know what we believe. Because our kids before too long are going to start asking questions, you know, and they're going to notice that all of their cousins go to church, and we don't.

Seth Price 41:53

You said your kids were three and one?

Jon Steingard 41:54

Three and two.

Seth Price 41:56

Well, I will tell you so mine are 11, 8, and five, and they do start asking questions. And between the made up questions that they sometimes get from their friends and their friends, parents, and my wife, and I just straight up to say, “I don't know, some people say this, some people say this, and I have no idea”.

And for the most part, they leave it alone. They're like, “okay”, like, it's just bigger than I know how to answer, buddy. Like, I don't? I don't know. And if they somebody tells you they do, they're a liar. Because they also don't know.

Jon Steingard 42:23

Well, I think that's a good approach. I actually, I went to therapy quite a bit last year, when I was in the middle of dealing with this stuff privately before I sort of became public about it. And one of the issues that kept coming up in my therapy sessions was this pressure I felt to present my kids with a coherent worldview. Because I had felt like my parents had done that for me.

Now, of course, I was questioning it and sort of doubting the worldview, they handed me. But but I saw the value and they created us a stability for me in my youth that was centered around this Christian worldview. And I think that's worth something. And so I was sort of like struggling with what coherent worldview am I going to present my kids with? And, you know, I said, this thing to my therapist, and I said, You know, “I just want to do it, right, like parenting, I want to do it right”. And she just said, “you know, do you think there's such a thing?” And I, and I thought about that for a while. And my response to her was, “well, I think there's such a thing as doing it wrong”.

But yeah, I think the only conclusion I could come to is that instead of trying to figure out God entirely, and present this idea of God to my kids, and have that be the foundation of their confidence and stability in life that I probably am going to have to make sure that my wife and I, personally and specifically, are creating their foundation of stability and confidence in life. That I may not be able to say with confidence that I know exactly who God is or what God is but I can say, with confidence, that as long as I'm able to I will be right here (and) I'm on your side, I've got your back. And I believe in you.

And, you know, that's not nothing. And so that's sort of the approach that my wife and I are taking right now. And just like you said, when we start getting to the point where they can articulate, you know, questions about religion, or faith, or whatever, there's going to be a lot of us saying, “you know, we're actually not sure about that (and) here's, here's some things that that some people believe and here's some things some other people believe in I don't know, like, what do you think?” And using it as a jumping off point for them to develop their own thoughts about things rather than me trying to strictly control everything that they might come to believe.

Seth Price 45:01

Yeah. Another question before that, though, let me clarify some I said a minute ago, because I feel like some people will hear it and be like, wait, what did he say? So when I said that existential questions about where I'm going, when I die really don't matter to me. It's for a couple reasons. So logically, I was somewhere before I was in this bald head. And I'm fine with that. And I don't think anybody knows what happens when we die. But I know that if there's a God, it's probably a loving one, or it doesn't matter. So…

Jon Steingard 45:28

Yes!

Seth Price 45:29

I'm not all that worried about that either because I can't affect either one of those. So it's not that it's not an important thing to talk about, it is that I don't really have any input in it being right or wrong. And I don't know that if I'm…I don't, I don't like it doesn't matter. Because of that..that's why I say doesn't matter. Not that it's not worth thinking about.

Jon Steingard 45:45

No, I actually really agree with you. Because that's how I answer the question when someone asks me, am I worried about going to hell? That's how I answer that question. I just say “no, not in the slightest”. Because, to me, the traditional Christian concept of Hell, I suspect does not exist because it's not to me congruent with a loving God.

Seth Price 46:08

It's not really congruent with the early church either, however, but…

Jon Steingard 46:12

Right! And, you know, even within Scripture, I mean, there's this book that I really love called Her Gates Will Never Be Shut by Bradley Jersak. And it details three different views that you could hold within Christianity of what hell might be. And you know, infernalism would be eternal conscious torment, annihilationism is just that, how just beings you cease to exist. Yeah. And then universalism, which is the idea that in the end, God reconciles everyone to himself, which there's actually a lot of scriptural basis for. And of course, I look at universalism, and I go like, well, that's the one I would prefer. And then anyone who wants to disagree with me, I would say, well, like, “Well, why don't you want that”?

Seth Price 47:00

(laughter) That's a good question.

Jon Steingard 47:02

You know? So yeah, with the hell thing, I typically say like, I think hell either doesn't exist or it…I mean, there's basically no version that I can find plausible, where hell, as far as eternal conscious torment exists, I can't find it plausible. So I’m not worried about it.

Seth Price 47:22

I agree. I think I was recording, at least for the unedited version of the show before but before we got started, you had said, you know, there are things now that you're slightly different with than you were, I guess, at the beginning of all this madness in May, or even like a year ago, what are those things where you're like, here's where I was and here's where I'm at now.

Jon Steingard 47:39

Yeah, um, we've talked about them a little bit, but the idea that Christianity has contributed so much to the culture that I'm a part of. That is something that is a more of a newer realization, the pairing of the fact that I think Christianity is potentially better than, like holding Christian beliefs might be more beneficial than sort of naturalistic beliefs. Like, put it this way, I would rather a loving God than no God at all. And even if that God is mysterious, which if he is real, he definitely is mysterious. I would rather be a part of a larger story than a part of no story. And I would rather believe that that story is going somewhere good than nowhere at all. Yeah. And, so in that sense I think there's a lot about Christianity that's better than being an atheist, or a naturalist or a reductive physicalist, or whatever. And so you compare that idea of it being beneficial (or) you pair that with the idea that it's actually intellectually reasonable to hold that view. I mean, those two things together are powerful. And that's a realization I've only come to in the last couple of weeks.

Seth Price 49:03

Yeah.

Jon Steingard 49:04

And it's certainly a long ways off from actually believing but it's more than I had a few months ago.

Seth Price 49:11

Yeah, it's honest. I like that. Honest answers are the best ones. They're only ones that matter. So this is the question I asked you about at the beginning. And then I'll wrap it back up and give you back to your family. So we probably danced around it. But just nutshell it.

So when you, Jon, say if there's God here's what I'm trying to say. Like, this is what that is,

Jon Steingard 49:31

yeah.

Seth Price 49:32

These are the words that I'm trying to wrap around whatever that is. What's the answer?

Jon Steingard 49:36

Yeah.

So I, my favorite book of all time, is The Great Divorce by CS Lewis. And I went back and read it again about a week ago. And for those of your listeners that haven't read it before, are not familiar. It's not a big book. It's pretty small. And it's basically this fictitious story of a dream that CS Lewis had. It didn't actually happen. But he tells it as if it was a dream. And in it basically, people in a version of hell which is not very hellish, it's just sort of a version of humanity almost or earth. And these people get a chance to ride a bus up to heaven.

But when they get to heaven, they find that their bodies are insubstantial. And that heaven is this place that's so real that these people that are visiting it, they can't even exist there without pain. Because, you know, there are these like insubstantial bodies that are that aren't able to influence the matter in heaven. So like, blades of grass are like knives, and like, drops of rain are like bullets. And each of the people has the opportunity to stay. And gradually they would become more substantial and a climatized to Heaven. They're free to do that, or they're free to go back to hell, basically. And what's interesting is, you're privy to all these conversations.

And in each one of them, there's something that's preventing this person from staying in heaven. And it's always, always, always them holding onto an idea that no longer works, but they refuse to let it go. And it sort of paints this picture that your own stubbornness is the only thing preventing you from being in heaven-from experiencing heaven. And that image is so powerful to me. Because I've had this thought of, like, if God is real I don't want to be so stubborn that I miss it, you know. If there's a way of being that's better than my current sort of way of being, then I want to know about it, and I want to learn about it, and I want to be open to it and not just reject it because I'm stubborn.

So I've started, I mentioned earlier in our conversation, that I've started referring to God as “being”. Because the word God has so many hang ups for me and so much history, that I'm I'm kind of going like, what if I think of God as “being” itself. And I also started using the pronoun she or her not because I actually think God is female but more “being” as female, but because although you can make an argument for that, that's a whole other conversation. But I'm trying to shake up these preconceived notions of God and allow myself to be open to things that I hadn't considered before.

So one of the things that I've been saying a lot recently, and my wife and I've talked about this a lot, is that I've said, “I'm ready to submit to “being”. And what that means to me, it's sort of comes out of that idea of The Great Divorce. Like, I don't want to be so stubborn that I miss goodness. I don't want to be so obsessed with one form of what I think is goodness that I miss this vast sea of goodness. And the only way you get to experience all of it is if you submit, and if you let your preconceived notions go when you're presented with something new. You don't hold on to the old so tightly that you can't see it. And so, my idea of God right now is “being” itself, and I'm on this journey, where I'm constantly saying I want to submit to being whatever that looks like. And it's sort of a form of saying, I'm ready to believe in whatever God is really there.

You know, and that is, right now, I feel like the best thing that I've got going for me, right, like, I don't know, there's so much I don't know about God, and what's real about him or her or it. But “being” itself. Like I had this thought, I know this is way longer than probably you wanted on this question. But it's a good question. It's a good jumping off point for this. But I have this thought that, you know, you mentioned this earlier, and I really agree with it. I think our deepest held beliefs are the ones that we act out regardless of what we say. And so it almost doesn't even matter what we say we believe. It's like, watch someone, watch them, and you'll know what they believe.

And so I noticed that by the very nature of continuing to live, not ending my own life, and bringing children into the world, and hoping that they live too (that) I'm actually affirming being. Like I'm saying that it's worth it to be here. I'm saying that it's better to exist than not to exist as far as I know. And so in that sense, it's like Yeah, there's suffering in the world. But obviously, I believe that being is still worth it. And so whatever that being is more good than not. And I feel like I'm ready to trust that and submit to that, being whatever, you know, whatever she is.

Seth Price 55:20

I like that. And then just also, nobody's given anywhere close to remotely the same answer to that question all year. I find myself…I don't want to continue to ask that question for January's episodes, and February and March. But I have no idea. I really like having a common thread of questions that run through every episode. I don't know why though. I don't have a reason why. I just kind of like it. Maybe it's because I know I'm gonna have at least one question that I'm gonna ask if I don't know anything else to ask.

Jon Steingard 55:50

Sure. Sure. It gives you some confidence. You’ve got a tentpole waiting for you.

Seth Price 55:52

So we haven't really talked about a lot of what you do now. So point people to where they should go to do whatever you want them to do at the end of this. They're like, Yeah, I don't really care to listen to the music of Hawk Nelson. Although there's nothing wrong with the music of Hawk Nelson. And full disclosure, Jon, I've never been a big fan of Hawk Nelson. But that's okay.

Jon Steingard 56:12

Hey, fine with me man.

Seth Price 56:14

I've eclectic music tastes today. I've only listened to cumbia. And yesterday was only Johnny Cash. And then the day before that was Big Bill Broonzy…Big Bill Broonzy is the man somebody should give that man a posthumous emmy or Grammy or whatever it's called? Where do you want people to go?

Jon Steingard 56:33

You know, what's funny is I know, in these conversations, typically, a guest will have like a book or an album or, or sort of something to hawk. And I have nothing of the kind. So I also find it really, really funny that like, so my Instagram right now has been basically consumed by these questions and issues and discussions on this topic about God and deconstruction and faith and stuff. And but career wise, I do film work. And so I do you know, music videos, I do video content for other artists, I do a bunch of commercial work. And whenever I'm on like, a commercial shoot or something, they're like, oh, like, let me follow you on Instagram, you know, so I can see your work. And I'm like, Ahhhh, yeah, that that's not…

I feel like my Instagram, if you follow me on Instagram requires a little explanation. But yeah, so. So for anyone who actually is interested in what I do, which, which I don't assume is, is the case. But the work that I do is, is the film work that I do is up at my website, Steingardcreative.com. It's just my last name, and then creative.com. And then, if you're more interested in sort of my philosophical and theological wonderings, then that is over at my Instagram, which is just, you know, @jonsteingard on Instagram. And then I sort of have been messing about on Twitter, a little bit in a renewed way, the last few months, but then also discovering what a what a brood of vipers that can be.

Seth Price 58:10

But it's so much easier to mute people on Twitter. It's so much easier.

Jon Steingard 58:14

Oh, yeah that's fair.

Seth Price 58:16

It's totally fine.

Jon Steingard 58:18

Yeah.

I've really tried to not block or mute anybody as much as possible on social media, because I really value dissenting views.

Seth Price 58:29

You can tell when it's like a troll account. They only follow people, and they never post anything. So those are the people that I mean. Yeah, yeah. Just the fake random bots.

Jon Steingard 58:39

Sure. Yeah, that's fair.

Seth Price 58:41

So we'll get well I'll put links to those in the show notes. Jon, thank you for coming on.

Jon Steingard 58:45

My pleasure, man. Thanks for chatting.

Seth Price 59:11

Being. God is being I think Jon's right. I think there are many ways to say what we mean when we mean God. And Jon preached a few times, especially to me, as someone that has done my share of wrestling, and continues to do so weekly, daily. Jon really spoke to me quite a bit in this episode. So if that happened for you, tell a friend about it. Write me some email, give me some feedback. Let me kind of know your thoughts on the show. It helps so much. I want to thank you for listening. Thank you for continuing to challenge your horizons and for allowing me to do the same with mine in such an open and honest way. If you have yet to do so you need to you know I'm about to do the patron thing and you're gonna hit the little fast forward by three 30 seconds button, but I'm not going to talk for 30 seconds and you really don't want to miss something.

So here's what we're gonna do. Hit pause, go down in the show notes, hit subscribe, consider supporting the show, I recently turned on the ability for those that want to, to do an annual subscription on that. So you don't have to be bothered with messing with it. But I will say show back up. Every week, I try to post some things there, and try to make it worth your while. But when you do the annual version, I believe you save like a 30. It's like a 33 day discount. So a little over a month because the year doesn't add up correctly. consider doing that rating and reviewing continues to be a fantastic way to help the show as I was talking about it with your friends sharing it on social media. You can also follow the show on social media.

And there is a honest discussion group where you will find people daily, multiple times a day having conversations and thoughts and concerns and questions and really good chats about faith and religion. That's called Can I Say This At Church honest discussions group. If you will look for that on Facebook. You'll have to search for it. And there's some questions to answer there. And we'll get you in that community. But it is a safe place, and it's one of my favorite places. Today's music is from Davis Smith. He was gracious enough to allow me to use his music in today's episode and I am thankful for him and all of the past artists and the coming future artists on the episodes. You can hear his music, as well as all the others on the Spotify playlist for the show. And you'll find links to him in the show notes.

Take care of yourself this fall.

Be safe.

You are blessed.

We'll talk soon

Good White Racist with Kerry Connelly / Transcript

Note: Can I Say This at Church is produced for audio listening. If able, I strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which has inflection, emotion, sarcasm where applicable, and emphasis for points that may not come across well in written word. This transcript is generated using a combination of my ears and software, and may contain errors. Please check the episode for clarity before quoting in print.

Back to the Audio Episode


Kerry Connelly 0:08

Good white racists are people who are intent on defending their comfort, and their inherent sense of their own goodness. And we need to deconstruct that; we need to be able to move through the discomfort and get to a place and sit with that, really sit with that, discomfort and everything that it means and those messy feelings, and come to the realization that “Yeah, I am a good person”, right? I do care about these things. And yet, at the same time, I have still been complicit in systems of racism. And my silence has made me complicit and I benefit from them, right. And until we do that hard work, until we can get to that place, where we're sitting with those messy feelings and moving in and through a place of lament, I believe is something that we need to do and, and my friends, we will ever do the work at hand, which is inviting the Kingdom of God to appear on Earth. Inviting shalom for all creatures on earth, we can’t do that work until we are willing to sit in that mess.

Seth Price 1:22

Hi my friends! Welcome, welcome, welcome. It’s episode 100 and I don’t even know. I’m recording this intro on election night. It is about 9":30 at night on the east coast. And I've watched none of it, because I can't-it's exhausting. The world is exhausting. The weather is exhausting, politics, religion, faith, Church, it's all exhausting. And it doesn't need to be, we could realize that we're all humans, and we all bear the divine, and act that way. Wouldn't that be lovely? But that's not why you're here today is that I apologize for the somber tone there but that's where I'm at, at recording this intro. That's just where I'm at. My guest today is Kerry Connelly. She wrote a book called Good White Racist. And you saw that title, I'm sure and went away what that doesn't make any sense, what! And then you're going to listen to this conversation and go, that's not I don't know how I feel about that! But I want to be clear, a lot of the work that needs to be done when we talk about racism and power structures and so many of the things especially in the church, it needs to happen amongst the circles that we run into. And for me, those are white circles, unfortunately. Like, those are my predominant circles, there is a power that my voice has, and there is a power that your voice has. And it's time that we learned how to use that in a way that deals with supremacy, and deals with exceptionalism in a way that doesn't screw around the topic in a way that values humans. Every single one of us. This is a challenging conversation. And it's a very challenging book. And it is worth every moment. Let's roll the tape of Kerry Connelly.

Seth Price 3:29

Kerry Connelly, welcome to the show. appreciate your willingness to come on the 19th time, I think we found a date. So we made it happen. We did it the night of the vice presidential election, I could be doing a lot of things. I would rather be doing this than watching the next train wreck.

Kerry Connelly 3:44

(laughter) Oh my gosh yes! Thank you so much. I'm really excited to be here.

Seth Price 3:48

I'm excited to have you here. So I always start off with a very simple question. But sometimes they're 20 seconds into 20 minutes. So what are you like is you kind of roll back through the Rolodex of this is what makes me me, like, what are like what are those tentpoles?

Kerry Connelly 4:05

Oh, wow.

That's such a good question. And where to start? What am I? I would have to say I'm a writer, I think and I say that first and foremost, only because it's one thing in life that I have to do that I would do even if even if nobody paid attention. I would just do it right. So I think that that's definitely a part of of who I am.

I identify as a follower of Jesus. I am probably, somewhat, rebellious. I am an enneagram eight if it means anything to you, and a wife and a mom, and a daughter, and a friend, and probably more on the “woowoo” side of like mysticism. And that's where my faith is kind of taking me after seminary kind of smashed it all to bits and then you know, reconstructed it.

So, yeah. So I definitely fall more on the mystical side of it than anything - experiential.

Seth Price 5:17

How do you define woowoo? What's the inverse of woowoo?

Kerry Connelly 5:21

Um

Seth Price 5:27

(laughter from both) Um, so that’s episode title right there…the inverse of woo woo

Kerry Connelly 5:29

Yes! That's a really good one. So what I will say is that the the process of going to seminary, I really did it like any good seminary it, it kind of completely smashed my faith to bits, which I think is a healthy thing, right. And then what happened was, I looked down on the floor, and I was like, Wow, there is a whole bunch of stuff in there that I don't really want, like legalism, and patriarchy and a whole lot of stuff. And I was coming out of evangelicalism. So when that happened, and I removed those things, it left all this beautiful open space for my actual experience of the Divine to come in. And once that actually happened. It was kind of crazy, because I started having to pay attention to some of the stranger experiences that I've had my entire life. And I could no longer compartmentalize them. I had to kind of pay attention to them. And yeah, so that's where the woowoo comes in.

Seth Price 6:30

That's a seminarian word. The woowoo. It's Greek for mystic

Kerry Connelly 6:34

Exactly, exactly. Yeah.

Seth Price 6:39

That's funny. Yeah, I've had people try to explain, I've had people ask me to explain the way that I see Jesus and “woowoo” has never come into the vernacular. But when you said it, I immediately was like, I get that. I know what you mean. It's less Bible Scripture passages and more. Jesus, which I know how heretical that sounds saying out loud.

Kerry Connelly 7:02

In my opinion, any opinion that the old white guys that like decided, and I say that, you know, but, you know, the dudes that got to put together and decide what got to go in the Bible, anything that they didn't like, is called heretical, whether it's a true experience of the Divine or not. And so I'm proudly on the side of heretics because there are some good people over there.

Seth Price 7:27

Yeah, I mean, everybody's somebodies heretic.

Kerry Connelly 7:32

Exactly!

Seth Price 7:34

Yeah, if you're Catholic, Martin Luther is a heretic if you're Jerry Jr. I'm a heretic like everybody somebodies heretic, it's totally, totally fine. So I wanted to ask a couple, just so as I was reading through your book, which I don't want to get the title wrong. So let me make sure that I'm not miss remembering. Yep, I didn't Good White Racist, which is a title that when you see it on the encapsulate, wait, what? What, what happened here? What just what just happened here? So we'll go, we'll come back to that. But as I read through your book, I want to know, on a scale of one to 1-10 … 10 of sarcasm, like what is your base level of sarcasm? Just in a day to day?

Kerry Connelly 8:13

Oh, yeah, it's pretty high.

Seth Price 8:17

Because I'm assuming the editor, I'm assuming the editors filtered it down a bit. So

Kerry Connelly 8:20

Oh, indeed!

Seth Price 8:22

So what was revision one? Like, what was that at?

Kerry Connelly 8:23

There were some things I had to fight for. I had to be like, No, listen, you can't you gotta let me keep this is like, please, this is just my voice, you know. And it's also, you know, I think not that I had a huge audience before the book came out. But for the people who did read my blog that I was writing and stuff, they would have expected there to be some serious sarcasm and snark, you know, so it's definitely who I am. Yeah, I should have included that in my first answer.

Seth Price 8:53

As I read through, I found myself nodding like, yeah, so for the longest time, I fought against the enneagram. Mostly because I don't like things that everybody talks about. That's why I don't like the Patriots, which I don't know if you like the Patriots or not, it's fine if you do, I don't. Yeah, but it doesn't matter what it is. Like that thing that everybody is like the shiny new toy like, I don't care. And for the longest time, enneagram was that and then at the prodding of my pastor and many other people, I began to dig into and I genuinely enjoy the process of that now. For the longest time, though, I however, thought I was an eight. And upon further reflection after many after a couple years, I realize I'm not I'm a five and if I showed you my books and my notes and the way that I was just an unhealthy five, like hoarding knowledge as a dictator, you know, and, yeah, but eight really felt good, because that's the way that I was badly acting. Oh, I know, but it felt good-powerful.

Kerry Connelly 9:51

And you know, I resonate with that too, because I don't really know a lot about the enneagram. It confuses me. I've not yet studied it. I do want to I want to actually get certified in it, but when the eight totally resonates with me, but then I was reading that it could be possible. I'm just a broken something else. And I was like, Oh, I should probably look into that one of these days. But I'm too busy.

Seth Price 10:13

So my pastor's being trained by and I don't know if you'll ever hear this Barrett, I've no idea if he's listening..he may, something about like his you see those arrows. If you go against the arrow, that's you being healthy. You go with the arrow, you're just like, not not being healthy. Um, but it was funny as when I told him I was a five. He's like, of course you are. And he started rattling off all these things. And I was like, how long have you known?

Kerry Connelly 10:39

Why didn't you tell me?

Seth Price 10:41

That's that's not the fun part. Anyway, not why you're here. So I wanted to address something that you said it's either in the intro, or maybe it's the person that wrote the foreword. I can't remember which, but I felt like it's in the intro, that you felt the need to write this book on being a good white racist, specifically to other white people. Which I find is appropriate because we're both white people. Yeah, to the best of my knowledge, and so why that clarification? What matters there? Why is that?

Because I feel like most people just skip the intro. You know what I mean, in many books, I just tried to get into the meat, or they glaze over it. And I'm bad about that as well. But why that clarification, why does that matter?

Kerry Connelly 11:26

I think it matters because partially, it matters, Because white people in general, especially white Christians, we tend to have a huge savior complex, like this white savior complex, right. And I wanted to be super clear that I was not trying to explain whiteness to black people, or racism to black people, I that this was not a, or to the BIPOC community as a whole. It needed to be very specific that this was a conversation between two white people, myself and the reader, right. And part of that also is about the fact that I'm sitting here as a companion along this journey, right, having done some of this work, and by no means am I done with this work, but as in complete, but I am doing this work along with the reader. Right. And I think that that's really important. I think it's important for white people to take up this labor. I think, black people specifically, but we've asked to the BIPOC community to do this work for far too long. And I think that it's time for us to do our part, you know. And so that's kind of really what I was trying to get get out there is that it's really important for white people to understand that this is a white a conversation that white people need to be having.

Seth Price 12:48

Why?

Kerry Connelly 12:50

Because whiteness is invisible to white people, and it's constructed to be invisible to white people. And so it's our sickness, it's our sole distortion or disfigurement. And so it's our responsibility to go about the work of our own healing, right. And until we consider this work, just that, the work of our own healing, until we can we can really start to understand that this is something that is within us that we need to root out and practice agency over-until we can we can really start doing that work and doing that discernment and that agency practicing that agency, we're never going to heal racism, right. Black people can sit there and yell and they can protest. And they can take to their knees and they can do all of the things and none of it will matter if white people are not willing to do white work. And that's why I do what I do. Right because we have to, I need to ,my goal is to invite white people into a place of ultimate discomfort, and truly to deconstruct and decolonize our own identities, right. So that we can find the true self that that I believe we are created to be so that we can all move into a place of Shalom, you know of what God actually intended for us.

Seth Price 14:29

Yeah, that's one of my favorite words shalom. It's actually how I sign almost every email unless it's just a quick I'll get the kids after school, or you know, those emails don't get a shalom. Yeah, it's one of my favorite because I the concept of that word. The theology of that word is massive, honestly, yes. Might even be the gospel, different, different topic altogether. But yes, yeah. Anyway, you're using the words and I'm one Be real clear, I'm gonna probably be tongue in cheek and devil's advocate, because most people listening most likely have not read the book. And for people listening that's on you, you should hit pause. And just, you really should read the book, right? write the book. No, read the book is what you're supposed to say. Yeah, buy the book, buy the book is what I was looking for.

So it's been a long day.

So yeah, so when you say good white racist, I think most people are going to read that and go, I don't know what that means. Like in you take, don't take chapters because, you know, don't you take literally three chapters to define this. So what are you meaning to say when you say those? And then I have another question that I don't script these that I just thought of, from what you said a moment ago but we’ll get there.

Kerry Connelly 15:48

So, um, so essentially, what I'm trying to get at here is the idea of paradox right. And I think that just in general, the American psyche has a really hard time holding paradox holding this idea that we love binaries, right. And so holding this idea that more than one thing can be true at the same time. And also in our American psyche, is this deeply embedded hero complex, right, this idea that Americans are always the good guys. And that is a message that is deeply embedded in our culture, and in our national identity. And, the truth is that we've done a lot of really crappy things, right? We've done a lot of as a country, as a nation, we've done we have some pretty horrific things in our history. And racism, obviously, being in slavery, obviously, being one of the biggest, right.

And so what I'm trying to help people understand is that white people, and when I'm saying good white racists, I'm not talking about the KKK, I'm not talking about neo nazis, I'm talking about good people who really care and don't want to be racist, right. The idea of racism is not something that they would aspire to, it's not something that that they want in their psyche, or in their lives, they don't want to embody it. And yet they are unwilling because they are so intent on protecting two things, their own comfort, right, and they are feeling this defensiveness and this unwillingness to acknowledge the fact that they could be not all that good, right. Like that there's some goodness in them and there's also some, messiness in them, right.

And so good white racists are people who are intent on defending their comfort, and their inherent sense of their own goodness. And we need to deconstruct that. We need to be able to move through the discomfort, and get to a place and sit with that really sit with that discomfort, and everything that it means and those messy feelings, and come to the realization that, yeah, I am a good person, right, I do care about these things. And yet, at the same time, I have still been complicit in systems of racism. And my silence has made me complicit and I benefit from them, right. And until we can do that hard work, until we can get to that place where we're sitting with those messy feelings and moving through a place of lament, I believe, is something that we need to do and despair—we can't ever do the actual work at hand, which is inviting the kingdom of God to appear here on Earth. Inviting shalom for all creatures on earth, we can't do that work until we are willing to sit in that mess.

Seth Price 18:49

So a minute ago, and I'm gonna come back to some of that, but a minute ago, you had talked about, I don't remember your words exactly because I can't write fast enough about, you know, the reason that it matters for the audience, primarily being other white people is that we need to enact some change, we need to do something. So as I read through the book, and as I talked to some of my friends that are not white, there is a power structure a struggle, and I've had this conversation with him often of you know, oftentimes, we don't want to give someone else of a different race, power and authority because we're terrified if we're honest, that they'll do what we've generationally done to them back to us. But I find the odd, and I’ll use your word “paradox” that it is going to require whites expressing power in giving away power to enact that change. So and I don't know if I'm saying that right. But I don't know how to ride that tension.

Kerry Connelly 19:49

Yeah, that is, it's so insightful. And this is the thing that I think so many of my white friends that when we struggle with this over, you know a bottle of wine or a couple drinks or whatever this is where we always get to. That there is this tension and there is going to be this messy period of time where we are going to have to center whiteness in order to de-center it. Right? Like we are going to. There's this idea. Okay, so you're gonna, you're a bunch of white people who care about this stuff, you're going to put on a conference? How do I not put on a typical white, especially a white Christian conference, right, which is usually a bunch of white dudes up on stage and nobody else right? So how do we be intentional about sharing that platform? Well, just the fact that we have to come from the position of we own the platform, and that we're going to share, that in itself is something that needs to be deconstructed.

But that doesn't mean that we throw up our hands and say, well, then I'm not going to share my platform, right? Like, like, I'm going to take all my toys and go home, right? We don't get that we have to sit in that discomfort. And this is what ultimately the problem is that we have suffered a failure of imagination. You know, Andre Henry, who is somebody that I suggest everybody follow, he's great. And he tweeted one time, he said something like, I don't understand. And he was talking specifically about white women. He goes, I don't understand why white women place themselves in a role of anti racism work, because isn't it equivalent to self annihilation? And I'm like, Yes, actually, it is. White work that when we are deconstructing our white identity, it is about dying to self, it is about self annihilation, and the faith part comes in where we go, Okay, I'm going to trust that God's going to show me what I'm going to be. But we have suffered this massive failure of imagination. And that was, I think that was the way the book got started. And the way I even started this whole process was I watched an episode of Ruby sale of on being with Ruby Sales were Krista Tippett interviews Ruby sales watch.

Seth Price 22:09

I thought that was just a podcast.

Kerry Connelly 22:11

No, it's a video. Yeah, at least of this one.

Seth Price 22:16

I was today years old when I learned this.

Kerry Connelly 22:18

Yeah, there's a website and it has video and

Seth Price 22:20

Yes, right.

Kerry Connelly 22:23

Okay. Yes. And so if you don't know who Ruby Sales is, she was a, she's a public theologian, woman is theologian and she was 17 years old. She was at a civil rights rally. She was standing on the porch of a general store and a white man came up and with a shotgun and pulled the trigger, and a young white seminarian through his body in front of Ruby and saved her life, he died immediately changing her life forever. And in this episode of On Being she says, You know, I know we have a black liberating theology, what I want to know is where is the white liberating theology? Right?

Where is the theology that liberates white people from hunger and pain and drug addiction and all of the things. And I was so struck I mean, it's such a womanist theology and thing to say, right, but I was so struck by the generosity of it. And it really got me thinking, I was like, Okay, well, what would a white liberating theology look like? And I was sitting in seminary, I'm like, well, what better place to start thinking about it, then in seminary, right? And then I realized, this book really came out of my understanding that I needed to have an education on what white identity actually is, right? And that's kind of how I got to this book. But what I realized in the process is that we actually have, really, we have this failure of imagination that we cannot imagine what we would be without this constructed identity of dominance. And until we can begin to imagine what it would be like to no longer embody a false dominance, we will never be able to create or participate in the creation of a more just world.

Seth Price 24:08

So for me, my faith really struggled a few years after marriage with having a child because emotions happen and fives don't deal well with emotions. And yay, we did it. Yeah. And that's the most I'm gonna say about that. Because I'm not doing it. I'm not crying tonight. I'm not crying ever again.

Kerry Connelly 24:28

You sure you’re not an eight? That sounds pretty eight to me!

Seth Price 24:32

(laughter)

I don't know. So you're a little of every number. Yeah. And I should find it or get my pastor to say it. There's one part where he's like, because it would take one like when Jesus did this, and it would take a two when Jesus did this, and it would take three like when Jesus did this, and he rolls through all of these different parables and stories, and he's like, what I'm trying to tell you is when you're healthy, that's what you're supposed to be like you're supposed to be able to access different ways to be with different people. Because anyway, again, yeah, but he does a rant. It's one of those rants that I'm sure in seminary people memorize, you're like, oh, he's doing the story. Again, he's doing that, like you can tell, because every time it tweaks it slightly, and it gets better or worse, depending on the week or you know, allergy medicine or what's in there. So, you're going through all this in seminary then like, that's when everything kind of shattered around this? Like, how does that go over in seminary when you're trying to talk about it? Or you just kind of no I’m going to sit in the corner? I'm gonna shut my mouth cuz they're gonna kick me out?

Kerry Connelly 25:36

Okay. That's, that's, uh, yeah, so let me that timeline is important. So I wrote a blog called Jersey Girl Jesus, I don't really write there anymore. I write more. That was on patios, but I write more on my own blog now. But on my own website, but um, so I was writing a lot about race and LGBTQ rights and women's rights and through the evangelical Christian lens, right, it were or how should I say this not through that lens, maybe opposing that lens. And, you know, for a blog, that had Jesus in the name, the most feedback I would get would be around racial issues and LGBTQ, obviously, those two issues. Which, of course, being the eight, I was like, oh, poke poke, right. So let's talk about that more.

And, you know, I was just really shocked by the visceral reactions that I got from white people. And I started seeing patterns and noticing, like the ways that the comebacks and the comments, they all started to sound the same, right? Like the same arguments. And I was like, wow, this is like, this is a thing. And it kind of got me really interested in that. So I was already kind of there. And then my very first class in seminary, it's a diverse seminary. And it's one of the I think it's the only one that actually has a PhD program in African American preaching and homiletics. And so it's a pretty diverse student body. The very first class, we took I had a four hour afternoon session in this very diverse, and when I say diverse, I mean, there were black people and then there were white people at every end of the spectrum of racial awakening. And we had a conversation about race that was pivotal.

I mean, it was exhausting. And it was emotional. And it was beautiful. And I think we all came out of that experience really well bonded as a as a, as a class as a cohort, right? And then throughout the rest of my journey I was able to take classes in liberation, theology, and womanism, and interest and process theology and to study all of these different theologies that like, Who knew who to ever think that there were all these other ways to think about God? They're amazing people. I know. It's like, Whoa, wow. That's incredible. Well, you know, all those heretics, right? And when I was exposed to, you know, a black liberation theology that starts to help me understand that, you know, if God decided to come down and put a body on, then maybe God cares about bodies, and we should, too, right. And then how that changes my eschatology and how that changes what I'm thinking about the afterlife and what my reward is going to be. What heaven is actually, you know, all of those things. So it was pretty well received, right?

Although it was also a wonderful place for me to say a whole bunch of really stupid things. And luckily, I was able to make some really long lasting, I hope, deep friendships and relationships with black people who were willing to invest the time in me and sit with me and have those really hard conversations whenever I said something stupid, which was often

Seth Price 29:24

Two of my best friends on the planet are there they're both black. And oftentimes, when I'll say something stupid, one of them's will be like Seth, that's bullshit. Like, like, no, I love you. And I know But listen, no, no. Yes, no. And I'm like, Oh, well, tell me Like what? I want to be better tell me because I didn't know. And then in hindsight, I usually think I didn't know I just didn't understand, which I think is a different version than know

I want to jump around a bit. So you have a chapter on gaslighting. ghosting, at least, yeah, that I think that's what it's called. But in there you talk about micro aggressions? I don't…so can you kind of explain what those are and how those relate to good white racism?

Kerry Connelly 30:14

Yeah. So one of the things that I think is really important to understand is that racism, and I am going to, I'm going to say this, and then I'm going to answer your question, because this is not going to sound like an answer to your question. But I think it's important to make sure that people understand this is that racism occurs on at least two levels. That's probably oversimplifying it, but there's the individual right. And that's where people get the most defensive, right? Where we go “I'm not a racist, right? I you know, why are you calling me a racist, because I said this thing, slavery is over, you know, whatever, Oprah's rich”. So like, you know, that there's, but there are, there's that individual aspect that of the individual soul that we need to be addressing and practicing agency over and that that occurs with the thoughts that go through our minds and the ways our interpersonal relationships and how we embody those and behave in those right.

And then there's systemic racism, which is the collective sin. And that's the collective nature and the and the institutionalized racism that is causing actual oppression among an entire people group or people groups, right. And it's important to understand that there are two different places that it operates, right, and they are intertwined with each other and they are cohesive, and you can't really separate them, but you need to understand that they're both there, right?

So microaggressions, work, both individually and systemically. So for example, and I'll explain this because I'm not a I'm not a black person, I will I can, I can understand it as a woman, because as a woman, I experienced microaggressions all the time. And I can give you a perfect example of one.

So I was on my way to an event where I was going to be speaking, I think, I think it was speaking that night, called Brew Theology. And I got into an Uber. And my Uber driver asked me where I was going. And to be honest, I was kind of tired, I didn't feel like talking I was really exhausted. And I was getting into an Uber with a male driver by myself. And I was preparing to go to this talk. And so I had to be on. I had to keep having my energy up. And I get into the Uber, and he asks me where I'm going, and he's just started talking, you know, incessantly. And then he asked me where I was going, I said, “Oh, I'm going to thing called Brew Theology”. And he got so excited, because he had also been in seminary, and then he began to explain to me after I told him, I was in seminary, or he had not gone to seminary, but he started to explain biblical concepts to me, and I can't remember, but he picked, like, the most basic. It was like, first day of seminary 101, like something, I can't remember what it was. And it was exhausting. And then he proceeded to tell me that at his church, he doesn't believe women should preach or pastor.

And I mean, that's a pretty blatant microaggression. But it's a microaggression because it's happening one on one, it's an interpersonal thing that's happening. And in that moment, I needed to make a choice. I could either end up confronting him and having a really uncomfortable Uber ride, right? Utilizing my energy, and my emotional labor to educate him or to fight with him, or to just even try to resist his oppressive, patriarchal, mindset, and to establish my humanity and to fight for my own humanity in its fullness, right? Or I could just be quiet and let it go and move on to the next thing, right.

And as a woman, I, especially in the workplace, I might experience a number of microaggressions like that throughout the day. Whether that's somebody touching my body in a way that I did not give them permission to, or making comments about my body, or making assumptions about my abilities, because I'm a woman. All of these different things, right? Like he did telling, you know, telling me that I cannot for whatever because of his theology live into the fullness of my capacity, my God given capacity and calling right. So, all of those things, they are exhausting when they happen over and over and over again. So now you think about let's move that to the the racial aspect of the conversation and let's talk about police brutality, because you know, it's not like it's a topical moment.

Seth Price 34:56

Yeah,

Kerry Connelly 34:59

So first of all, you have to understand the system of policing and how we over police communities of color. Right, like so that's, that's one whole thing, right? And then within that community of color, there might be a young kid or a young, let's say, a young black man, right? Who every day is faced with small microaggressions, based on his blackness, right? Whether it is from maybe a store owner, or whether it's from the police making small things. Like constantly pulling him over for something that a white person would never get pulled over for, or like all of these things, right? And slowly, and they kind of peel away at his patience. And one day, he has a bad day. And he's not feeling it anymore. And he loses his cool. For him that's a deadly situation. Right! That becomes a deadly situation. So that's one way that microaggressions operate in the, at the systemic level, because now he his life is in danger, because he lost his patience with an agent of the state.

So microaggressions can also occur when my best friend Aisha has told me about how many times people, white women, will come up to her and say, “You're so pretty for a black woman”, Or, “oh, you talk good for a black person”, right?

Like, what does that even mean? You know, but those are small, little microaggressions that you're kind of like, and you're almost like most people, especially women who are socialized to be nice all the time, smile, and nod, make sure that men are comfortable in the room, and that their feelings are always intact, and their egos are not harmed. Right. Like this is what the work that we do as women all the time, black women carry an even bigger burden, because they have to make sure that they're not just maintaining the the male ego, but also the white ego and the comfort of all of them, right? And so for a black woman, for example, to go through the world where white people might reach out and touch her hair because they think they can. Because they think that's totally fine right and not weird at all right?

Making assumptions about her marital status, or like if she has kids, assuming she's a single mom, or you know, or that registering surprise at her high education, that she's achieved the level of high education she's achieved small little things like that, that that black people will have to put up with over and over and over again. And then when they finally respond, with any sort of assertiveness, they are considered stereotyped as the “angry black woman” or you know, the “dangerous black man”. So does that answer your questions?

Seth Price 38:01

Yeah. A couple questions. So how long is this Uber ride like where we're like, like, because he just driving slow intentionally to get all of his really bad New Testament theology straight? Yes, Phoebe didn't exist or, or just we're just talking about it anyway. Like, how long is this Uber ride?

Kerry Connelly 38:20

It was like a 30 minute Uber ride; it was horrible.

Seth Price 38:23

Oh man! That's a long ride for him to diatribe like that.

Kerry Connelly 38:27

It was exhausting, exactly. Exactly. And he was yelling like he was really loud.

Seth Price 38:32

Did you rate him? Because I've never taken an Uber because where I live is so rural, but you can rate people and say, your bad theology hits potholes.

Kerry Connelly 38:43

You want to hear something even funnier, almost not funny. But it's funny how it is not funny is that like, six months later, the pastor at his church reached out to me to ask the church where I would not be allowed to teach a man or to preach reached out to me, because he knew about my book, and he wanted me to help him understand how he could I don't know, not be racist in his church anymore?

Seth Price 39:10

I feel like that's a good thing, though. Right?

Kerry Connelly 39:14

It's a good thing. It's a great thing. But what I told him, I said, and they're not affirming to so I said, you know, well, the thing is, is that you can't only affirm like, one third of a person like you can't affirm just their black skin, but not their gayness or their womanness. People come as whole packages.

Seth Price 39:27

Like, yeah, that means come. Yeah, well, yes. As humans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, but yeah. So yes. I'm not often Yeah. Not often speechless, but we did it. So can I quote your book to you? Because you have a chapter on language and outside of not saying words that I'm not going to say right now. I've never really thought about language and the way that you do it. Is that all right, if I quote your book to you? so you say

language is indelibly entwined with our identities, that Empire uses it quite effectively in torture, or rather Empire uses torture to remove language from victims, reducing them to a pre lingual state in order to appropriate their voices.

And you go on to talk about where that comes from. But I had never heard about language discussed in this way. The only really entertainment of torture I'd ever done was whatever I see on TV or like waterboarding or something like that, just because honestly, I don't want to know, I just I don't why would I want it? Yeah. So talk about that a bit. Like I don't it's just it was all foreign to me when I read it.

Kerry Connelly 40:36

Yeah, I remember the day that I, I found the article and the connection started being made right in my head. When I found the article about ultimately what torture is about, especially, specifically, the article was talking about torture in South American dictatorships the way that those countries tend to use torture. But I'm sure that our American government uses it equally the same.

Seth Price 41:07

I'm sure we're good at it. We have the biggest military on the planet ever. Yeah, so I'm sure we're really good at it.

Kerry Connelly 41:11

I'm pretty sure we are as well, yes. And so essentially, the goal of torture is to remove the person, the victim, so far from any sense of community, and, and their own personhoo. And one of the best ways to do that, is to remove their capacity for language. And so when you when you create such intense pain that they cannot speak, and instead are moaning in pain or screaming in pain, they are essentially reduced to a pre lingual state, right. They've lost the ability to be part of their community because they can no longer communicate using the shared tool of language, right. And then what happens is that's the ultimate state of power, because then the torturer can now take their own words, the words of the Empire and place them into the mouths of the victims. Which is what we have seen. I remember growing up there were you'd always see images of soldiers who were hostages, like they were being held hostage, or people being held hostage. And they were saying words that you knew were not their words, right. But they were being used as a tool, as a propaganda tool, on television, right. And so the words of Empire had been placed in their mouths, because they had been brought to a point of they had lost their language through the use of torture. So when I started thinking about America's history and our history as a people who have participated in the kidnapping and the torture and the rape and the enslavement of whole groups of people, specifically black and indigenous people, but two different stories. So we'll stick with black for right now. But I want to acknowledge the horror done to indigenous people, but so when when I thought about that, and the ways that in which we have dehumanized them from the beginning, right, and never fully, how do I want to say this?

Because their humanity is not ours to give back. But we've never fully come to ignite acknowledge their full humanity. Let's say it that way, right? We still hold all of these constructs. So we took away their tribal identities, we took away their family identities, we took away their names, we call them all one word, right? All this Spanish word for black, which became another word, which I'm not going to say. But we flattened and modernized them all into this one identity. And then we shipped them over across the ocean and brought them here where we gave them our names, and we gave them our religion, and we gave them our identity, but only to a point, right. And then we decided in order to help the “poor savages”, we then decided we would be kind enough to educate them, but only to a point.

And so we've never fully allowed them to use their voices. Because now whenever we do, we tell them they need to be nicer about it, right? We tell them “I get that you're angry. But you need to be nicer because you're going to catch more bees with honey than you will with vinegar” or something. Like you're gonna you have to be sweeter about it. "Oh, but when you protest sweetly and you take a knee, that's not good enough. We're going to talk about you know, the flag that obviously has feelings, right. So we need to protect that flag because…

Seth Price 44:59

While you're wearing a bandana that's a flag, which is my favorite!

Kerry Connelly 45:02

My favorite is like the bedazzled bikini tops. Those are awesome, it's just amazing…while straddling a Harley, but anyway.

(Laugher)

So what we've done is we've stolen their language. We’ve refused to allow them to have their voice. And one of the things that people studying torture have learned is that so often the assumption is that revenge-being able to perpetrate some sort of violence against the person who carried out the torture-would be the ultimate satisfaction for these victims. But in actuality, that didn't bring closure. What brought closure was to have their stories told and be heard. To be able to tell their story, and to get their voices back and to share their story and to be heard and understood. In other words to be reinstated back into community. Right.

And so that's what's never happened in our American narrative around racial issues, and certainly not with the church.

Seth Price 46:14

I feel like you talked about him at the beginning of your book, but I don't know how to get to the bibliography in an electronic version. So have you read Mark Charles, his most recent book? Truth? No, it's…what's it called?

Kerry Connelly 46:31

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I have not read his book yet.

Seth Price 46:35

It’s a monster. Yeah, amazing.

Kerry Connelly 46:41

His work is amazing.

Seth Price 46:43

Yeah, I had Mark back on like, episode like, 10, or whatever. And at the end of it, I was just so mad, like, I was just angry. But there's something that he said, and it's in his current presidential run, like, you can't talk about reconciliation, because we never even had conciliation. And like the, what's he call it like, the cultural mindset or the cultural psyche? Or the culture…I'm not saying it right. Like, I don't know. For those listening, hit, just hit pause. And then just yeah, Google Mark Charles, and make it happen.

Kerry Connelly 47:10

Yeah, his website is wirelessHogan. Yeah, GA and he's brilliant.

Seth Price 47:14

Yeah, he's great. Yeah, I'm gonna try to talk to him again, when he's not running for president, because that's a literal thing that's happening.

Kerry Connelly 47:20

I know. And it might make him a little busy.

Seth Price 47:24

I guess, maybe not. Um, so we haven't talked about the church much. And honestly, I'm not certain if we'll have time to. But that's okay. Because you talked about it a bit in the book. And you have your own podcast as well that you flirt around with it as well. So that's easy to do. I have a couple more questions related towards what you talked about in the back of the book. So I want to tackle some of those ones that you're going to see on Facebook, and Twitter, and everything else. The “my ancestors didn't do this. So I'm not racist.” “Black people own slaves to”. You talked about Oprah Winfrey being a bazillionaire. A minute ago. Can you tackle some of those just In brief, because they are especially the Irish and slavery ones like? Yeah, right. Yeah.

Because I find when I try to explain things to people, I think I'm only making them dig their heels in further. Like, they're not listening, which is so frustrating. But if I don't say something, I feel like I'm, you used the metaphor, the beginning of your book of like, if you don't build a fence around this pool, that people are drowning in like, you're a problem. The pool is a problem. So is the water. But you also are an A-hole, because why would you watch someone drown? I’m so frustrated. I don't know how to speak to some of those, which are the most common things that you're going to see from a lazy Google search that just gets posted into Facebook somewhere?

Kerry Connelly 48:48

Yeah, yeah, totally. And it does take work, because I think that the way that a person will, one of the things that I've learned in having these conversations online and in person is that in order for people to maybe not dig their heels in so much is they need to be heard, right? Every person needs to feel heard, right. That's what everyone wants to feel.

And so what I try really hard to do is I try to attack narratives and not people, right. But in order to attack, or too interrogate a narrative, I and that's really what’s happening, right? They're getting a soundbite. They're getting this narrative that they're being fed, that is at best inaccurate, if not wholly false, right? And so we have to understand the narratives, and this is where there there's going to be an investment for white people who actually care about this is that we actually do need to know the facts and we need to understand the full system that's at play here, right? So we'll go with the Irish slaves, right? So first of all, that is a myth that came from one book that's been mostly debunked entirely right? And people need to understand that there is a huge difference between indentured servanthood and generations of chattel slavery, right? Where whole generations of people were born into and died out of slavery and lived their entire lives in in slavery.

The other thing that you have to understand what for that particular construct is the way whiteness works, right? Is it true that my ancestors, who were Irish came here, none of them came that I know of came as indentured servants, however, what I do know is that they did come over under trauma-with great trauma. They came during the famine. They came here, some died, they became addicted. They were abandoned in orphanages, there were horrible things that happened to them that were deeply traumatic, right? That's still not the same as slavery.

And what's more is that, yes, it's true that they could walk into a restaurant or walk up to a restaurant and see a sign that said, “No Irish no dogs”, right. And that's racism, because they were not yet considered white. But they could also go down the street into a different bar where they were fully welcomed and turn around and say, no blacks can come in here, right. So they were able to operate with much more fluidity on the hierarchy of whiteness. And the further they got away from their their own lineage that when they lost their brogues, when they stopped eating the foods that they ate, when they stopped listening or playing the music. And they became the American, the Irish American, as opposed to the Irish, right. They were more fully assimilated into whiteness. So that, you know, they could even lose their religion, they can pretend to not be Catholic anymore, and then they could pretty much pass as a good old fashioned WASP if they wanted to. And WASPS are the ultimate white people, right? Like, that's ultimate…

Seth Price 52:19

Can you give that acronym meaning?

Kerry Connelly 52:20

White Anglo Saxon Protestant.

So, you know, think your Blue Bloods, your Mayflower people, right, like, that's who we're talking about. And so certain people as they moved over, as people groups came over from different parts of Europe and other places, they would be assigned certain places on the hierarchy of whiteness. And then as they assimilated, they could move higher up in and become more white or, you know, and other people were less white, right?

Black people can never become completely white. They just simply can't. And then you have to understand the impact of generational slavery, and then the Jim Crow laws and how those impacted black people economically. And then redlining and you have to understand all of those things in order to be able to interrogate the narrative of, you know, the Irish were slaves too.

No, they were not! First of all, that's just a flat out lie. They were not slaves. And also the impact of generational slavery is, is so complicated, and it's like this big knotted ball of twine, right like that you have to try and, and pull apart to see clearly all of the ways that it has impacted families, to keep them impoverished generationally, to keep them under resourced, under educated and created so many more obstacles on their way to success.

Seth Price 53:54

Yeah. So I want to ask two and a half more things. (laughter from Kerry) Because there's so much that I want to ask that we genuinely don't have time. Um, yeah, because we haven't talked about education. We haven't talked about police reform, really want to talk about Colin Kaepernick and we skirted around the issue, but again, people read and buy the freakin book. Let’s assumed pie in the sky. We do this and somehow you and I don't know how old your kids are. My oldest is 11. We raise a generation of quote, woke people that are going to come alongside and maybe we'll actually figure out how to be better human beings. What does that look like? Because I think a lot of people and I'm going to use the word good faith, but it's used in poor taste on both sides. Like what can how should that look like 10, 15, 20 years down the road?

Kerry Connelly 54:52

That's the question and you know I cannot be I should not be the only person to answer that. The first way we're going to get to that place is it has to be an act of the collective right. Adrian Marie Brown is one of the most important voices. She's the author of a book called Emergent Strategy and another one called Pleasure Activism. And, you know, she talks about biomimicry, right as a way of human adaptation, things like that, like that, that could actually lead to the kinds of the kind of imagining that we need to do as as human beings, right? Because it really is going to call for a new way of being. It's going to call for something completely different from what we've already known. And I do think that our youth can can do it. I have hope. I mean, they took down an entire political rally through tiktok, I mean, come on. That's pretty freaking amazing right. So like, if they can do that, I think that they have it in them to make the kinds of structural changes that need to be made, right. But that doesn't get us off the hook. We still have to be doing the work to subvert the system, to be chipping away at it so that we're creating those weak spots so that they can come in behind us and just take it all down and rebuild something new.

And that sounds scary to a lot of people. Especially, I think the older you are, the scarier it sounds because you're like, well, what's gonna come next? Right? Something will come next. America came next. Right. And listen, I think that there's so much good in America, there is! We have ideals that are aspirational. We've never lived up to them, right. But America in and of itself is a paradox because we had the right idea. We just didn't live up to them. And so I think that when we can think back to what it must have been like, at the time when these ideas were starting to be floated around and try to capture something like that similar to that now that that might be able to give us an idea. And then combine that with the shalom of God, the kindom of God, what would the realm of God actually look like? And I specifically did not say kingdom. I said, kindom, right, like so it's not about Empire. It's about family. It's about a shared space. It's about holistic well being for all.

Seth Price 57:33

Yeah. So that's actually the second question and the half is just a gimme because I've asked it to everybody this year, so I knew I was gonna ask it before you we found the time to do this. Okay, that's so what happens to the institution of the church that you and I are accustomed to in Western Protestant…I'm going to say America, but honestly, it doesn't matter because it would be the same problem in Canada or the UK, or any English speaking country for the most part, like what happens? If that happens-if we chip away at something and our children stand on the foundations that we've helped rapture and or rupture, not rapture, different thing altogether-rupture? What happens to the church? Like, what happens?

Kerry Connelly 58:18

So I think that's up to us. I think that's up to the church. I think it could either disintegrate, or it could become something even more beautiful then we could ever even imagine. You know, I was talking to a pastor, because I coach pastors through leading their churches to become anti racist. And I was talking with one the other day, and well, I think, first of all first, okay, two things I want to say my brain goes too fast.

The first thing I want to say is that….(I think you relate right?) The first thing is, I want to say is there there was a guy, a rabbi who came in and talked to a class and he told us that in Genesis where scripture that's typically translated as I am, that I am, it's actually a horrible translation. It's a phrase in Hebrew that cannot be translated at all, really, but the closest thing that could come anywhere near it would be something more along the lines of “I will become all that I have yet to become”, or I will be all that I have yet to become, which is this beautiful, like it speaks to this beautiful state of perpetual becoming that God is right.

Which, you know, this is why I have no patience for people who pointed other people and call them heretics. Because who are you to tell me that I'm not a part of God's newest becoming right, or new way of becoming? And so I think that the church would do well to release our hold, and our grip, on what our constructs have been. And embrace what new thing God is doing. You know, I know that there's scripture that says, “See I am doing a new thing.” And that is one of the most hopeful, beautiful, Scriptures to me, “see, I am doing a new thing”. And I think that COVID has, and this is the second thing I want to say that COVID has demonstrated the possibility. And I am not trying to make light of COVID. So let me just be…I'm not trying to say, hey, this was God's Will God wants, like, That's crap.

Seth Price 1:00:28

No, you're right, though. Yeah it has amplified timelines.

Kerry Connelly 1:00:34

Yes, totally. And one of the things that I think it's done for churches is it has expanded our walls to be so much more inclusive, at least the churches that I see doing a really good job of it, you know, they are now having people who are coming to worship with them from, you know, all the way across the country, right. And if we can find belonging in that way, if the church…if the Holy Spirit, if the if the Sophia of God can reach through Zoom and touch the hearts of you know, people in new in different ways, then I think that we can trust the Sophia of God to figure out a new way for the church to be if we're willing to hear her right. And hear what she has to tell us.

Seth Price 1:01:27

Final question. A question I've asked everyone this year when you try to wrap words around what God is like someone asks you tomorrow in an Uber, “hey, you talk about God. What do you mean”? Like, what are the words that you were trying to wrap around that?

Kerry Connelly 1:01:43

Yeah, that's…

like how to solve the political crisis in America?

Seth Price 1:01:51

Just pull the lever?

Kerry Connelly 1:01:52

Yeah, just press the button.

Seth Price 1:01:55

It's that meme. And it's the big red button with the guy with that. Yeah, it's done. Right. It's done.

Kerry Connelly 1:02:02

I just fixed it! (laughter)

So I think the divine is, is everything that is in our consciousness and beyond right, all of the things that we have yet to imagine. And I think it is, the divine is pure potential. And Genesis and creativity and lifeforce, right. So I don't believe in a vengeful, destructive God. I think that goes against any kind of logic that anybody could try to apply to the concept of God. Right. I just, I don't…it doesn't it doesn't make sense. I think men, not men as in I mean, let me say, humanity, ADAM can be vengeful, and we like to model our gods after ADAM. Right. But I don't think it goes the other way. I think I think God is pure lifeforce and pure creativity in Genesis.

Seth Price 1:03:06

Yeah, perfect. Where do people go? Where do they go to learn? How, where do you want people to go, wherever that is place

Kerry Connelly 1:03:12

to find all the things is my website, which is kerryconnelly.com.

Seth Price 1:03:17

Perfect, perfect.

Kerry Connelly 1:03:18

Check me out on Instagram @Kerry.Connelly,

Seth Price 1:03:21

kerryconnelly.com. I'm so bad at Instagram. I get on there. I like people's things. And I don't know what to do with it. Like I get messages of being tagged in stories. And I don't even know what that means. I click on it and nothing happens.

Kerry Connelly 1:03:35

And as soon as I learn it, they change it.

Seth Price 1:03:37

I don't even know where the stories are. I've literally gone to those people's profiles. I'm like, What is it? Where is…I don't know where it is. I don't

Kerry Connelly 1:03:43

It disappears after 24 hours?

Seth Price 1:03:45

Oh, well, I'd have to open the app once more than once a week. Okay, well, that makes sense, then I didn't know that they disappeared. That’s embarrassing. I didn't know they disappeared. I've turned off the notifications for all of my social media. So I'm only in there when I feel like being in there. Yeah. And I get the heck out as fast as I can. Thank you for your time this evening. And as well to your family. I'm sure they are either asleep or sacrificing time with you. So I appreciate it.

Kerry Connelly 1:04:14

Thank you so much for having me. This was so much fun. I really appreciate it.

Seth Price 1:04:31

I really hope that you and I can reimagine a way to rip apart hierarchies and structures that oppress other people. Not just black people, but all the people of color and that we figure out a way to challenge those with compassion and with grace because it is painful when structures are challenged. It hurts to change foundations.

I'm thankful for the work with people like Kerry and so many others. And I'm also very thankful for their time that they come on to this show to discuss those topics because I know they're not easy to talk about. They're exhausting to talk about. I would also like to thank Matthew Johnson, and people like him, that have become members and supporters of the show on Patreon. As the year has ended, I have noticed many people, I think the credit cards just expired, there's a report for that. So if you've been a supporter in the past and you realize I did get a new card recently, and that's still something you want to do, just log in, verify that that's still something that is on the list, I would appreciate it very much.

If you cannot support the show financially, there are a couple different ways that you can engage and or support the show. The first way is to share the show on social media that is one of the best ways that the show reaches new ears. Because your voice has influence in the circles that you're in another easy ways. Just write and review it because algorithms run our life.

You are amazing, every single one of you. I will talk to you next week.

Know how blessed you are.